Wednesday, 28 December 2005

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MLA: The Random Example Panelists: When you claim to draw "a random example" of a particularly lucid and/or egregious aspect of a work and proceed to quote it at length from your prepared notes I do not believe you. There is no such thing as "a random example" at the MLA. There is the trope of the random example however and it is a powerful trope. It says "My argument is so exhaustive I could choose any passage in the book and it will exemplify my point." It says "My argument is so comprehensive that I do not even need to read books to partake of Its Infinite Validity." It says "My argument is so thorough that nothing exists outside it not even God or Jesus or Allah. My argument encompasses the sacred mysteries of the Catholic Church and the Protocols of the Elders of Zion and it knows who killed JFK." It says "My argument is so powerful it told Moses to tell you not to make any graven images of it or any of its premises that are in heaven above or the earth below or that are are in the water under the earth. It commands you not to bow down before premises or serve them to your friends: For It the Comprehensive Argument is a jealous Argument, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that refute Its Validity and showing mercy unto thousands of them that recognize It and keep Its Conclusions." It says "My argument told your argument to sacrifice its only beloved Premise to appease It but then said 'Ha Ha!' if you were Infinite in Your Validity you would know that you could find another Premise somewhere else to why not slit that one's throat because I find blood funny."

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