Hard-core conservatives like myself are appalled, I say, appalled by how many patently liberal professors Andrew Jones doesn't condemn. A quick study of the English department demonstrates how insufficient Jones' list is. He ignores, for example, Blake Allemendinger, who wrote a book with the word "labor" in the title. What of Christopher C. Baswell, so invidious a liberal he withholds his interests for fear of conservative backlash but includes his middle initial in his name. Who does he think he is? John F. Kennedy? We know he wants to be.
Then there's Lynn Batten. A woman. Need I say more? Ali Behdad? Ali? Anti-semite. King-Kok Cheung is 1) a foreigner, 2) a graduate of UC Berkeley and 3) interested in gender. Gender. Why not call this "English" Department what it is? The Department of Destroying the Nuclear Family.
I thought I had found an ally in Michael Colacurcio, author of "A Poise of the Spirit," until I saw he had also written Doctrine and Difference. Doctrine? Fine. But Difference? That sounds like multiculturalism to my American ears. I'm sure he and Alicia Gaspar de Alba stay up all night discussing "Chicano/a Art" and giggle like little brown girls during Cristina's commercial breaks.
What about Rachel Lee? Dual appointment with English and Women's Studies. How do you spell "me-search"? At UCLA you can also spell it M-C-H-E-A-C-H-E-R-N or M-C-H-U-G-H. "They will never take our FREEDOM"? Not if these two Scottish "rebels" have their druthers. But Ms. Lesbian Lee and the Department's Scottish Feministas haven't cornered the radical leftist market on attacking the sanctity of marriage.
Anne Mellor wrote an entire book on Women's Political Writing in England. Were there not enough men to study, Ms. Mellor? Or could they not stand the stench of your tangled, unwashed pits? Jinqi Ling, an illegal immigrant, writes Marxist propaganda in classic diversity double-speak: Ideology and Form in Asian American Literature? Go back to China, Ms. Ling! No American wants to hear about your precious Chairman Mao.
I could attack this den of anti-American activists for the rest of my life, but the wife says the brisket's done. Little Nancy and Sally are setting the table as I speak. How do you think all those queers, foreigners and women would respond to that?
Bet they wouldn't even know where to start.
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Lurking...
Posted by: Dax Montana | Thursday, 19 January 2006 at 04:59 PM
Now that is a post!
Posted by: Luke | Thursday, 19 January 2006 at 05:36 PM
$50 for full, detailed lecture notes and all professor-distributed materials, for one class!? Count me in, I'm transferring!
Posted by: Zach | Thursday, 19 January 2006 at 05:48 PM
Oh. My. God. I can't explain how hard you just made me laugh on so many levels.
Posted by: Dr. Virago | Thursday, 19 January 2006 at 07:21 PM
Dammit, Scott! You made me scare the cat. And now my face hurts.
Couldn't you at least *warn* people when you're about to deploy satire like that?
Posted by: Ancrene Wiseass | Thursday, 19 January 2006 at 10:31 PM
"Tangled...pits?" It's so, so, so visceral! Great stuff!
Posted by: Beth Black | Friday, 20 January 2006 at 11:52 AM
It's worse than you think. Lynn Batten is male. In fact, his full name is CHARLES Lynn Batten. Unpacking the significance of his preference for an androgynous moniker is left as an exercise for the reader.
Posted by: Melancholic Lefty | Friday, 20 January 2006 at 02:40 PM
Ha HA!!! That was just fabulous, Scott.
Posted by: Rebecca | Saturday, 21 January 2006 at 09:04 AM
This is unrelated to the post, but why do my trackbacks always show up twice on your blog?
Yes, I am anal enough to be bothered by multiple trackbacks showing up at your blog.
Posted by: Kevin Andre Elliott | Saturday, 21 January 2006 at 03:13 PM
Sigh. Are middle initials no longer sacred?
Posted by: The Little Womedievalist | Thursday, 02 February 2006 at 03:55 PM
um, Jinqi Ling, like Lynn Batten, is male.
Posted by: anonymous | Tuesday, 28 November 2006 at 12:24 AM