Over the CLCWEGSA1 listserv this afternoon I learned that a faculty member had graciously agreed to donate her old junk to furnish the future "graduate student lounge." According to the email, "She says she has a nice futon, some rungs, and a few more ideas to make it a more comfortable space." My first response? Thank the lady for luxurious ideas. But then I thought about her offer of "rungs." Because what this graduate student community really needs is a jungle gym.
Freshman have their "fifteen." Graduate students know how to multiply. I decided that in addition to rungs, the Graduate Student Lounge of the Future could stand for some swings. Swinging invigorates both mind and body!
If we're gonna have rungs and swings we oughta have monkey bars too. Sure there's something inherently racist about the African-American students swinging on the monkey bars, but who cares? I'm talking about monkey bars here people. Monkey Bars. What hunched graduate student wouldn't disavow Derrida after a few hours of monkey bar-induced glee? (Besides the closeted Republican one, since he obviously hates fun. Why else become Republican?)
Nothing could improve a graduate student lounge with rungs and swings and monkey bars.
Except a slide.
So I sprung into action and formed the CLCWEGSA Wants Monkey Bars and a Slide Committee. Our first meeting is tomorrow. I anticipate the Swing Faction will complain about their marginalization. But don't worry. If they don't like it they can take a long slide down a short . . . slide.
 Comparative Literature Creative Writing English Graduate Student Association, pronounced "click-weg-sa" and hands down the worst acronym ever devised by people with ostensible mastery of the English language.