DISADDENDUM!

You are sitting at a desk.  It has recently been used to write a dissertation.  A door leads to a closet.  To the east is a litter box which needs to be cleaned.  There is two day old brownie on the desk which smells of cat urine.  A book is open on the desk. 

> read book

You read it yesterday.

> I did?

I don't understand that.

> you wouldn't

I don't understand that.

> work on dissertation

You write 500 words.

> work on disseration

You erase 500 words.

> work on dissertation

You open your aggregator and read BoingBoing.  On it you see an earwax removal kit, shoes made out of a keyboard, and a link to Life of a Writer as a Zork adventure.

> look earwax removal kit

You look at the earwax removal kit.  It is fascinating and Japanese.

> look shoes made out of keyboard

You look at the shoes made of a keyboard.  They are like normal shoes but they are made out of a keyboard.

> look life of writer as Zork adventure

You are standing in an open field west of a familiar white townhouse, with a boarded front door.  There is a small mailbox here. 

> s

That is a bad idea.  The biannual Grue company picnic is today.  Corporate will be there. 

> s

Have it your way.  You are behind the familiar white townhouse.  In one corner of the townhouse there is a window which is wide open.

> climb in window

You are in the kitchen of the familiar white townhouse.  A table seems to have been used recently for the preparation of food.  A passage leads to the west, and a dark staircase can be seen leading upward.  To the east is a small window which is open. On the table is an elongated brown sack, smelling of hot peppers, the remains of a sandwich, and a clove of garlic.

> eat garlic

That should help mask the smell.

> smell the smell

From the study wafts the smell of decayed flesh and pooled blood. 

> w

You are in the study.  In it is a desk, a laptop, piles of books, an Elvish sword of great antiquity, and your dead body.

> look elvish sword of great antiquity

It is elvish and of great antiquity.  You hear a grue climb in the open kitchen window.

> take sword

Taken.

> e

You are in the kitchen.  The window is open.  The grue must have heard you and scuttled out the window.  You will not be so lucky next time.  You really should leave before he returns with his grue friends.

> w

You are in the study.  In it is a desk, a laptop, piles of books, and your dead body.

> MY dead body?

I don't understand that.

> me neither

I don't understand that.

> kick your dead body

You kick YOUR dead body.  It is still dead. 

> kick YOUR dead body

You kick YOUR dead body.  It is still dead.  I still have no body. 

> look YOUR dead body

You pick your nose with the elvish sword.  AGAIN.  Blood pours forth from your head because you are stupid. AGAIN.  Your dead body falls on top of your dead body. 

> e

You are in the kitc . . . wait.  Both of you are STILL in the study. 

> e

You are still in the study.  You will remain in the study until someone climbs in that window, eats a sack that smells like hot peppers, and discovers your dead bodies.

> help

No.  You are dead and beyond help.

>

Good. 

Comments

[Scott Eric Kaufman]

The sequel is never as good as the original. C'est la vie.

[jholbo]

No. The sequel is good. Dude, I've never gotten a boingboing link. Not even when we had Cory Doctorow over for dinner. (What's a guy gotta do?)

[mbywater]

Recursion: I worked on a couple of Infocom adventures, back in the day. They were like that. Working on them was like that, too. There was a big room full of people listening to Phil Collins and trying to make things like that happen, so that they could say "Look what just happened."

>look what just happened

There is no just happened here.

>say "aus-tin-i-an per-for-ma-tive" very slowly.

Nothing happens.

[Matt]

Congrats on the Boing Boing link. This is brilliant stuff!

[Scott Eric Kaufman]

John, I suppose it depends on what you fed him, and whether or not it spent dinner winking at him.

Michael, first, that's the best literary theory joke about working at Infocom I've ever stumbled across, and second:

You are in a big room full of people listening to Phil Collins.

> kill self

You are on a big cloud surrounded by people listening to Phil Collins.

> request transfer

You are in a fiery lake. A hellspawn speared your balls and cut out your tongue. Over the screams of the damned you hear a faint Muzak version of "Take Me Home."

> tade be hobe

I don't understand that.

> TADE BE HOBE

I don't understand that.

> PLEADE?

Please what? 'Cuz I don't remember.

[M Schwartz]

Tade tade be hobe...

[Bill Gallagher]

You are in a maze of twisty little citations, all alike.
> write footnote
You are in a maze of twisty little citations, all alike.
> write end note
You are in a maze of twisty little citations, all alike.
> make up "fact"
You are in a maze of twisty little citations, all different.
> plagiarize
You don't fall down dead, but 20 years from now as you're sitting in front of your tenure committee, this will be cited as the reason for denyong your tenure. Then you are eaten by a grue.