The Internet Stupid Report

Standing in front of a map of the Internet is a man with an indescribable comb-over and a smile white as it is wide.  As the curtain rises, a women who ends every sentence with a question tells a man named Skip to "throw it Kaufman."  He does.

Kaufman: Thanks Skip.  Today has been a particularly stupid day on the Internet.  As you can see from the map (points at map) the trouble began on Pharyngula (map zooms in), where the statement "it may be a little harsh" (points at map) and a bland clarification (points a little lower) precipitated a series of increasingly unhinged responses punctuated by yipping, yapping, hilariously unfounded charges of dishonesty and (waves hand over large swath of the map) general calumny.

Skip: Sounds rough, Scott. 

Kaufman: It was, Skip, it was ... but it wasn't the stupidest stupidity on the Internet today.  For that (map dissolves into pixels) we need to look over here (map returns), where some people are convinced it's opposite day. 

Skip: It isn't, is it?

Kaufman: No, Skip, 'fraid not.  But that didn't stop some people (points at map) from insinuating in a general way, the possibility that in some important respects, when a person says "I want to talk about this more" he maybe really means "I never want to talk about this again."  This stupidity is merely the remnants of that idiotic front (gesticulates wildly) that passed through here the other day, but don't let that fool you.  It still packs quite a punch ... back to you, Skip.

Skip: I wonder when Opposite Day is?  I bet beleaguered local businessman Milton Keeps does too ...

Inane chatter continues as the lights fade and the curtain slowly lowers.

Comments

[PZ Myers]

For what it's worth, I have no idea what was going on there. The whole point of my article was that here was this turn-of-the-century guy Dennert making specific predictions that would prove spectacularly wrong, but they actually had a context in which they were not stupid ideas -- the first decade of the 20th century was an awfully interesting one for evolutionary biology, with the mechanism of inheritance in a state of discombobulating flux, and heresy against Darwin was excusable. Davidson should have been arguing with me, not you.

[Ginger Yellow]

I've never been able to figure Davidson out. 95% of his posts on biology blogs are perfectly sound and rational, but his personal site screams "loony" as clearly as any creationist's or magic water purveyor's, as does the fact that he links to it at the end of every single comment.

[The Constructivist]

Scott, it looked to me like he had put on his St. George armor to fight the dragon of ID and read you as defending rather than historicizing what's-his-face. Whatever.

Sorry, I just don't get the three-way feud between Valve, Weblog, and LS. Must be fun to be in it, but not fun to watch.

[Anthony Paul Smith]

Actually, it's less fun to be in it than it is to watch. But we all do it for the kids. The kids just love this shit. Right up there with pop rocks and side kicks.