Why I Did It (And I Did, And I'll Do It Again)

Before writing up the post the victorious Mr. Kugelmass requested, I thought I'd share the reasoning behind this little experiment with those of you (slackers/ingrates/pedophiles) who stopped keeping track of the previous post/strike/hostage-taking:

As I sat down to compose my talk, I realized how much different things seem now than when I first started blogging. As I've said before, originally the blog was an excuse for me to vent at a world—before you ask, I took those posts down long ago—and not just any world, but one so uncouth it decided I deserved cancer. I was an angry boy. But it quickly turned into more than that, as I started to write light pieces about mild annoyances which had the salutary effect of making them disappear. (Example.)  Then I joined the Valve and started tackling major annoyances.  (Example, example, example.)  Despite being the high point of what Adam's called the Theory Wars, it was an incredibly productive time for me, intellectually speaking ... and despite his further claim that no one ever changes his or her mind on the basis of a blog conversation, this is when I changed my mind about Theory. Not about theory/Theory, mind you, but about my relation to the body of thought which goes by that name. I didn't return to the theory crazy days of my youth, but I started to reenvision my notion of what the profession is and what theory's place is in it. (Example, example.) 

The growth may not have been as transparent as it felt, but I thought I'd pretty obviously turned a corner.  Then came this. A ridiculously stupid debate with a certified idiot who could've cared less about what I thought and lazily ascribed to me beliefs I didn't hold, positions I found unsound, and then, to top it all off, he went on a petty bender the likes of which I'd never before encountered. I realized I had two choices: I could respond with a detailed account of his pettiness and thereby look petty myself; or I could ignore it and allow his misrepresentation of my claims to stand. We all know which route I took. Thing is, I can't say for certain that if I had to do it again, I'd do it any differently.

I realized, then, that I'd been backed into a corner.  And not just any corner, no, but one which was profoundly unfun and consumed time and attention I neither had nor wanted to expend. So I decided to shut down the blog. Disappear from a scene whose grievances had grown so tangled that I couldn't figure out what would set people off—I mean, really, when a post which could've been titled "Foucault Is Supremely Nifty & I Love Him" becomes a flashpoint, the only conclusion is that the system is broken. Shutting it down seemed the only sane option. That same day, I met with my advisor and made him a deal: I would have a draft of a chapter done once a month (starting in June) from now until December and graduate in the Fall quarter. This would allow me to teach in the UC system again in the Winter, which means an income and, more importantly, health insurance. So the next few months look like this:

June 1st: London chapter.

June 15th: Revised Mitchell chapter.

July 1st: Wharton chapter.

July 15th: Revised London chapter.

August 1st: James chapter.

August 15th: Revised Wharton chapter.

September 1st: Chapter Five.

September 15th: Revised James Chapter.

October 1st: Revised Introduction.

The last few months I'll spend revising what I've done. This may seem like an impossible task, but I've already done most of the research for ... everything except the Wharton, which I'm working on now. (The mystery fifth chapter will either be on Charlotte Perkins Gilman or the American reception of Middlemarch.)  I came home fully satisfied with the Hell I'd arranged for myself.  All I needed to do was shut down the blog.

But I couldn't. Not because I'm unnaturally attached to it—even though I am—but because I had spent the days previous remembering when blogging was fun and, more importantly, intellectually productive. (Plus, the event on The Novel of Purpose had just ended, and it had been so successful that I couldn't write the genre off entirely.) So I decided to do this instead.

I thought two things would happen: first, there was a real possibility the thread would never reach 500 comments; second, that if did, something about the dynamic would have to have changed. Lurkers would have to pipe up and engage each other. Regulars would have to get creative. People would have to have fun for it to even be in the ballpark. 

I thought it akin to being on a spaceship and trapping half the crew in a hanger deck. At first, they'd be confused; then they'd be concerned; after a while, they'd start to try to entertain themselves ... and people who didn't know each other (or didn't know each other well) would start to talk to each other. Old antagonisms would fall to the wayside and everyone would interact on a level they hadn't before. (The music mini-thread is a perfect example of this.) Then, of course, the oxygen would run low and everyone would get a little giddy ... at which point I'd return with a wrench and a laser and open the blast doors manually. Everyone would disperse, but they'd remember the experience they'd shared and think more fondly both of each other and the ship that'd nearly killed them.

I'm not sure that'll be the case, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Comments

[JAKE]

Aw... I'm touched.

[Scott Eric Kaufman]

Was is a good touch or a bad one? Have you reported it to the proper authorities?

[JAKE]

I don't keep you bookmarked for no reason Kauf-Man. Just don't go ballistic or anything, a'ight?

[CR]

Now this is the strangest comment thread I've ever seen.

[Scott Eric Kaufman]

CR, I am that opposed to bad-touches. There'll be no actual, hints or talks of bad-touching on this here blog, I do declare.

[CR]

No, but is that our Jake? I can't remember if your Jake is our Jake. I may have misunderstood...

[Scott Eric Kaufman]

I call this a bribe. I found it oddly charming, for many reasons. Enjoy listening to it, for it be an .mp3.

[CR]

Was that directed at me? Scott, I'm way too tired to listen to mp3s. Just say what you mean, and tell me if Jake is Jake or is not Jake. That Jake.

[Scott Eric Kaufman]

No, CR, not directed at you ... at least, not in any way other than "might like Bowie, might like the Jayhawks." I don't think Jake is the TOS, however. I like this one.

[Amanda Claybaugh]

It's so good that you've gotten to the point where you can see the end of the dissertation! I'm now tempted to expound all my theories and philosophies of dissertation-writing, but I don't want to weigh down a celebratory moment with advice. Still, you should know that your readers will have Many Thoughts on the subject and would no doubt be very eager to share.

[Adam Kotsko]

As Deleuze says, the most important thing you can do for the revolution is finish your dissertation. And that includes the blog revolution!

(I almost shut down The Weblog last week. Must be something going around.)

[The Constructivist]

Hey, it's summer vacation.

[Scott Eric Kaufman]

Amanda, I'd love to hear what you have to say. Maybe you could dole it out in bursts, so that I might be regularly inspired?

[Scott Eric Kaufman]

Utterly childish, I know, but the comment verification for the previous comment?

wan2bj

No, I must say, no. This is not that sort of website.

[Adam Kotsko]

You have to verify your own comments?

[Scott Eric Kaufman]

I don't like staying signed into Typepad/Typekey because I use different handles in different places. (For instance, I don't want to show up as "Scott Eric Kaufman" on baseball blogs ... which I don't read, as is evidenced by the fact that no comment by "Scott Eric Kaufman" can be found on any.)