As we near the end of the first quarter, the grief-stricken LSU Tigers—"still reeling from the devastation inflicted on the great state of Louisiana by Hurricane Katrina"—are trouncing the grief-stricken Virginia Tech Hokies—"still haunted by the tragic events of last April"—by the score of fourteen to nothing.
VT quarterback Sean Glennon is having problems concentrating in the huddle ... not because of the 90,000 rabid LSU fans screaming at him, and not because he's facing the best defense in the nation, but because he can never rid himself of the memories of that tragic day. He prays to God someday he will, but that day is not today, as he looks completely out-thought and over-matched by this LSU defense.
Meanwhile, God—paying very close attention to this game—has decided that the 1,800 people killed by his hurricane need mourning far more than the mere thirty-two people Seung-Hui Cho murdered before taking his own life.
Of course, it's only the end of the first quarter, and He may change His mind.
UPDATE: The Lord can count, apparently, and He feels worse about Katrina. LSU up twenty-four to nothing. Geaux Tigers.
UPDATE II: Three LSU linemen weighing a collective 900 lbs. stitched the Virginia Tech players a memorial quilt. We all know how God feels about blankets. Geaux Tigers.
*Lest the hate-mail stream in: I'm not mocking anyone except the announcers here. They've obviously been told to be "reverent" and are trying their best ... but their best entails turning a football game into a theological disquisition on the God's will delivered with all the complexity of freshmen who've hit more bongs than books.