I hereby declare Monday, April 28th to be Post Like Glenn Reynolds Day. Why would I inflict such horrors upon you? Why would I force myself and encourage others to condense everything into a single sentence and a judgmental exhalation?
- Laziness.
- Lack of time to read people I dearly love to read.
- Profound wonder what happens to thought when you carve it up like that.
I'm serious about the third reason up there. I don't think disjointedly. Digressiveness is a disease, certainly, but my digressions tend to epic irrelevance.* I never stop thinking about something seconds after I've started. Granted, my conclusions range from the painfully obvious to the shockingly mundane more often than not, but my stupidity is hard-scrabbled.
Tomorrow I'll discover whether Glenn Reynolds has found an easier path to rank folly. The results should speak for themselves. The rules are simple:
- Posts must consist of no more than three sentences.
- The first and second sentences must be descriptive.
- Their should approximate what the willfully naive mistake for objectivity.
- The topic should be indicated
- The third sentence must be evasively judgmental and no longer than two words.
- These words must ooze pomposity even if they consist of nothing more intellectual than the ambiguous grunt of a sheepish atavism.
Should any of you care to inflict my experiment upon yourself, send me a line and I'll collect your dread menagerie in a post tomorrow evening.
*Does the Wharton chapter really benefit from a prolonged discussion of John Payne Collier’s 1835 New Facts Regarding the Life of Shakespeare in a Letter to Thomas Amyot, Esq. F.R.S. Treasurer of the Society of Antiquaries?
Chickens are white. Chickens are brown. Fucking chickens.
Posted by: Luther Blissett | Sunday, 27 April 2008 at 04:28 PM
I don't know what that means but it damn near ruined my keyboard.
Posted by: SEK | Sunday, 27 April 2008 at 04:33 PM
TOO MUCH ECOFEMINISM: ALSC loses bite, say frustrated reactionaries. Popcorn anyone?
Posted by: Colin Danby | Sunday, 27 April 2008 at 05:55 PM
(I've never read Reynolds's blog, so I just followed your rules literally. It produces a sort of obnoxious haiku. I kinda like it.)
Posted by: Luther Blissett | Sunday, 27 April 2008 at 05:58 PM
LB, for whatever reason, you've cursed me with the giggles. It's very difficult taking myself seriously as a scholar when I keep mumbling "fucking chickens" to myself.
Colin, damn it, that's better than any I've come up with so far. You will be my first "READER."
Posted by: SEK | Sunday, 27 April 2008 at 06:08 PM
I like Insta's brevity and linky-ness.
Posted by: mesquito | Monday, 28 April 2008 at 07:22 AM
I smell a series!
Next Monday can be Post Like Glen Hansard Day. The following Monday can be Post Like Glen Campbell Day (for balance). The week after, Post Like Glenn Close Day (this one will be trickier since she doesn't seem to have a website and, as an actress, how can we ever know what she's really like).
And so on.
When you reach the point of posting like John Glenn, or that jar of Muir Glen tomato sauce in the back of your cupboard, you'll know that it's time to stop.
Posted by: JPool | Monday, 28 April 2008 at 01:08 PM
Hey Ace Phallus,
Sounds like you envy Glen Reynolds' post.
Posted by: PD Quig | Monday, 28 April 2008 at 01:56 PM
Brevity is ... wit.
Posted by: BumperStickerist | Monday, 28 April 2008 at 02:51 PM
Bejezzus, I was worried for a second. I just logged in after a week hiatus doing revision and find you've turned into some right wing nut. Can you "sticky" this post?
Posted by: Naadir Jeewa | Monday, 28 April 2008 at 04:38 PM
It worked! You're now editor of Teh Valve! Heh.
Posted by: Ray Davis | Monday, 28 April 2008 at 06:22 PM
Monster blog Acephalous gives lessons to tiny Instapundit. Heh.
Posted by: tim | Tuesday, 29 April 2008 at 08:15 AM