I cordially invite you to my stoning; or, the most offensive Halloween costume I've ever worn.

Not that I did it on purpose.  As those of you who've befriended me on Facebook can attest, my goal last night was to wear "100 percent period-authentic grunge-wear."  I raided my own closet and, after suiting up, declared "I ought to be auditioning for Pearl Jam."  When I looked at the pictures my wife took of me last night, I shrunk back from the screen in horror.  I didn't do this on purpose.  I wouldn't do this on purpose.  And yet:

In trying to look like myself more than ten years ago, I unwittingly dressed up like ... let me put it this way, when I showed my wife this picture, her response was "Wait, who is that?"  Slap my glasses on me and gah.  I think I'm done with Halloween at this point.  Even when I'm not trying to offend, I'm succeeding.

Comments

[Karl Steel]

C'mon you now have a theme for every year following. Who do you expect with die in 2009-2010? Gore Vidal is my guess. And there's your costume.

[Scott K]

I have no idea why this would be offensive, nor who you may look like.

...but then, I had to look up who David Foster Wallace was, so I may not be the best judge. :)

[The Modesto Kid]

Uh oh... Though my first thought was Wait, why did he dress up as Richard Romeo (guy I know who looks a lot like that glasses-less shot, or did a few years back, whom I have no reason to expect you to try and pass as)?

[Ahistoricality]

Love the beard, though. The 20th century was shockingly clean-shaven; the 21st, like the 19th, will be much more interesting.

[JPRS]

Interesting word choice there. The rule of thumb is that we verb when an alternative is not available, so we can "jail" people but not "prison" them (because "imprison" already exists). But "befriend" seems strangely inappropriate when applied to Facebook, which is why the preferred usage is "friend." Perhaps it's a recognition that Facebook friends are not really friends. Or if they are friends, the quality of friendship differs enough from that of non-Facebook (or 3D) friends that to use the same word would imply too much?

[The Modesto Kid]

Using "befriend" to describe the action of adding somebody as a friend on FaceBook does not sound strange to my ears.

[james suhr]

Forgive me also for not knowing who David Foster Wallace was at first, but you did successfully pull off looking like any one of the many guys from high school--great job.

[cp]

To really pull off DFW in his grizzly man era, you'd have also needed a spit cup (yuck!) and a can of chew shoved (with almost no apologies) into your pocket. But all in all, an eerie accidental resemblance. I actually made the DFW connection before even glancing at the link, but after first thinking "Dude really can't pull off Doug Martsch, can he?"

[JPool]

My first was Elliott Smith, who looks more like DFW in that kind of outfit than you look like either of them (setting aside the same glasses thing).

Don't join the Sad Men in Stocking Caps Club. It's not worth it.

[alkau]

All I can say if the FBI and CIA are now looking for you! You look more like a wanted man then a teacher. You really need a hair cut before you next go out in public. The students would now know you if you showed up with short hair and yes, I can tell you to get a hair cut, even if in your younger days I never said that to you. It also needs to be said "Clean out your clothes" I think you have things from when you were in high school and while you can use some things for Halloween, some things must go.

[SEK]

First, I didn't mean to be cryptic as to who it is I resembled. I figured most of my readers would be familiar not only with DFW, but with that particular, you could say "iconic," book jacket photo ... and that's an odd assumption to make, given that 1) not everyone reads DFW and 2) his other iconic photo, with the bandana, is more iconic than that one.

That said, it's nice to see someone I actually went to high school, James, indicate that I looked like I (and a host of others) did in high school in that photo. The clothes were authentic, as was the beard, although I think it actually may've been thicker in high school.

But "befriend" seems strangely inappropriate when applied to Facebook, which is why the preferred usage is "friend."

I absolutely think that I could've use the verbed "friend" up there, as there's absolutely something different between meat-space and online-only friendships. I mean, I've only met five of the people in this thread in meat-space, and I consider them friends, but I felt differently about the status of that friendship after having met them in person.

P.S. That's a wig, Mom.

[JPRS]

Yeah, I follow this other blog, where the guy writes brilliant analysis and posts pictures of his family. Then I met the blogger in person at a conference, and it was strange, because I knew so much about him but I really didn't know him at all.

Modesto, in the vast majority of times I've encountered the usage, it's been "friend" as a verb. "Do you friend students?" "I totally friended him!" etc. SEK's is the first time I've seen "befriend" used in this way. What can I say? It sounded strange to me. Not bad, good! But strange.

[alkau]

glad to hear that was a wig. I thought your hair must have grown really fast since last I saw you. As long as others put pictures of family up, what did Meg look like?

[Wally]

What, Johnny Damon? Christ what a terror that photo gave me!