Teacher to the World, Teacher to None

SEK walks past the library on Ring Road and hears  a student hawking banana splits.

RANDOM STUDENT: BANANA SPLITS! WE HAVE THEM! BANANA SPLITS!

SEK momentarily thinks about how refreshing a banana split might—

RANDOM STUDENT: B-A-N-N-A-S-S! BANANA SPLITS!

SEK does an admittedly grumpy double-take.

RANDOM STUDENT: B-A-N-N-A-S-S SPLITS! BANANAS! YOU KNOW YOU LOVE THEM!  WE HAVE THEM!

SEK does his damnedest not to do what you know he's going to do, but in a moment of predictable weakness, turns around and confronts the hawker anyway.

SEK: You have what now?

RANDOM STUDENT: BANANA SPLITS! ONLY FOUR DOLLARS! B-A-N-N-A-S-S SPLITS!

SEK: (politely) Are you sure that's what you have?

RANDOM STUDENT: BANANA SPLITS, DUDE.  I'VE BEEN SELLING THEM FOR HOURS.

SEK: Successfully?

RANDOM STUDENT: YES SUCCESSFULLY.  BANANA SPLITS! B-A-N-N-A-S-S SPLITS ONLY FOUR DOLLARS!

SEK considers whether he wants to go full-on Larry David, decides against it, and begins walking away.

RANDOM STUDENT: ALL THAT TALK DUDE AND YOU AIN'T EVEN GONNA BUY ONE SPLIT? IT'S FOR A CAUSE.

SEK chomps down on his tongue, lowers his head and continues walking away because him being exhausted and it being Spring Quarter is no excuse for what would otherwise inevitably follow.

Comments

[Ken]

He is clearly of the modern advertising school, which says that anything that draws attention is successful advertising. The Clio awards seem to have switched entirely to this standard.

Personally I have my doubts. I remember several of this year's Super Bowl ads distinctly, but could not for the life of me tell you whether they were for cars, corn chips, or cola, much less the brand. To my old-fashioned notion of advertising, that means "failure".

Oh, in an amusing coincidence Cracked had an article on a similar topic today: http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-ad-campaigns-that-prove-humanity-doomed/

[alkau]

I expected this story to continue with a lecture on "If you go to college you need to be able to spell simple words". You are not back to 100% and a quick trip home will do you good.

[Brandon Gordon]

You'd think Gwen Stefani would have taught everyone how to spell that by now . . .

[SEK]

Brandon,

You're just making me feel old now, as I have no idea what you're talking about, and Googling it will only make me sadder.

[John Emerson]

It seems to me that someone should have reference Shirley Ellis's "Name Game" by now, while dragging Obama's name into it.