[Other installments of Sekocom, Inc. games include DISADVENTURE!, DISADDENDUM!, DISMORALIZED!, DISINSOMNIA!, WHARTON!, GRADING!, DISBELIEF! and DISCONVENTION!.]
Copyright (c) 1980, 1982, 2006, 2012 Sekocom, Inc. All rights reserved.
DISBELIEF! is a registered trademark of Sekocom, Inc.
Revision 23 / Serial number 8940729
You are standing in an open field west of a white apartment complex, with a boarded front door. There is a small mailbox here.
> e
The door is locked. There is evidently no key.
> kick down door
You are in the kitchen of the white townhouse. A table seems to have been used recently for the preparation of food. A television tuned to CNN sits upon it. A passage leads to the west, and a dark staircase can be seen leading downward. The President is Black. To the east is a small window which is open.
> wait what?
You are in the kitchen of the white townhouse. A table seems—
> no president part
The President is Black.
> GET THE FUCK OUT
You are standing in an open field west of a white apartment complex, with a kicked-in front door. There is a small mailbox here.
> check mail
There are two envelopes in the mailbox. The first is from a woman whose name you do not recognize. The second is from the DMV.
> open dmv
The registration on a vehicle is about to expire. Its owner has three weeks to provide evidence of liability insurance.
> look year
I don't understand.
> year on registration
The registration of the vehicle will not be renewed for 2013 unless its owner—
> it is 2012
The registration of the vehicle will not be renewed for 2013 unless its owner—
> so year is 2012
You are a genius.
> how black president
He was elected in 2008.
> WHAT THE FUCK
You are standing in an open field west of a white apartment complex, with a kicked-in front door. There is a small mailbox here. There are two envelopes in the mailbox. The first is from a woman whose name you do not recognize. The second is from the DMV.
> AND PRESIDENT
The President is still Black.
> open woman
That would be wrong.
> open LETTER FROM woman
You open the letter from a woman whose name you do not recognize.
> where she from
The address of origin is Houston, Texas.
> so america
You are a genius.
> so america 2012 black president
You are hyperventilating. The letter from the DMV can be used as a bag. Breathe deeply into the letter and exhale slowly—
> WHERE AM I
You are standing in an open field west of a white apartment complex, with a kicked-in front door. There is a small mailbox here.
> HOW I GET HERE
You started paying attention. Your breathing seems to be increasingly shallow. You should consider seeking medical attention.
> no insurance
As of today your status as an American citizen guarantees you the right to purchase affordable insurance.
> i have dick cancer
Preexisting conditions cannot prevent you from acquiring affordable insurance.
> COMMUNIST
You cannot change your guild alliegance at this time. Nor would you want to.
> WHERE IS FREEDOM
You are standing in an open field west of a white apartment complex, with a kicked-in front door. You are free to go in any direction you choose.
> up
You cannot fly.
> THOUGHT I HAD FREEDOM
Fine. You fly fifteen feet up in the air. You are now flying above an open field west of a white apartment complex with a kicked-in front door.
> FLY TO AMERICA
You are already in America.
> FLY FREE ENTERPRISE
I don't understand that.
> FLY CAPITALISM JUSTICE LIBERTY
That just doesn't make any sense.
> FLY WHITE PRESIDENT
> what
Never mind. You are still flying fifteen feet above a field west of a white apartment complex with a kicked-in front door.
> down
Really?
> DOWN
You plummet fifteen feet into a field west of a white apartment complex with a kicked-in front door. Your legs are broken.
> e
Your legs are broken.
> crawl e
You crawl into the kitchen of the white apartment. A table seems to have been used recently for the preparation of food. A television tuned to CNN sits upon it. A passage leads to the west, and a dark staircase can be seen leading downward.
> watch CNN
CNN announces that the Republican Chief Justice of the Supreme Court declares that you do not have the right to purchase affordable healthcare anymore.
> FUCK YEAH AMERICA FREEDOM
CNN now announces that CNN was wrong. You do have the right to purchase affordable healthcare after all.
> GET THE FUCK OUT
Your legs are still broken.
> crawl the fuck out
You crawl into the passage leading to the west. From your position you can hear the lamentations of conservatives who can now purchase affordable healthcare even if they have dick cancer. To the west is a dark staircase leading downward.
> crawl e
You crawl toward the dark staircase leading downward.
> CRAWL E
You descend the dark staircase. It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
> WHAT
You continue down the staircase.
> FREEDOM AMERICA FLYING WHITE PRESIDENT
He cannot save you from a grue. It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
> SAVE ME
Fine. You die of dick cancer before the grue can eat you. You are lucky not to have had access to affordable health care or you would have made horrible gurgling noises as you were crushed by its fearsome jaws.
> THANK YOU
Shut up. You're dead.
> WAS TALKING TO DICK CANCER
Of course you were.
[Previous installments of Sekocom, Inc. games include DISADVENTURE!, DISADDENDUM!, DISMORALIZED!, DISINSOMNIA!, WHARTON!, and GRADING!.]
Not you've got me worrying about grues...And CNN.
Posted by: The Necromancer | Monday, 02 July 2012 at 11:20 AM
The weird part is I paid to buy this game.
Posted by: Gary Farber | Monday, 16 July 2012 at 07:49 PM