Thursday, 23 August 2012

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He is Boss What do the ladies want? Men want wide-hipped young sluts, while ladies want old men like me—that’s why the ladies love men my age even though I can’t stand the sight of them. That celebrity couple disgusts me—it disgusts me like it would another man my age seeing a woman our age wet and naked. Old women look old, and it’s cruel to make me look at them. There’s this one rich old bird who looks hot, but at her age she sags in all the wrong the places as any drunken frat boy knows and they wouldn’t bone her for all her money. It’s a good thing Mitt Romney’s not a drunken frat boy. You know why Mitt Romney’s awesome? Check out his stats: he has so much money he gives it away and when he touches things he rules them. He has kids. They’re boys. All of them. Science says that means he’s awesome. So does money. Rich people are mostly men. See that picture? No daughters. Barely any granddaughters either. When he goes to church he goes to church. He gets all up in that house. Obama? All daughters. Mister Rogers was a pussy. Science says Romney should have all the lady-votes. Even Obama’s bitch should vote for him. I’m not saying he’s a polygamist, but he could be if he wanted to. Like this rich guy who had 61 children and they were all boys. He can’t have a harem, but if he could bitches would be lining up to join it. He’s in charge. Because now that we don’t hunt it’s all about the money and Mitt has more. He’s more President than the last eight Presidents. If he paid taxes, he’d pay more a year than Obama’s worth. If he didn’t tap ass so expertly he’d have more money than the only wealthy black guy I can think of who’s a rapper. It’s time for Romney to drop trou’ and show us his moneybags. Some hippies think calling him “R-MONEY” is funny. The only wealthy black guy I can think of uses lowercase letters but R-MONEY’s capitalized. He drops can do what black rappers do only bigger. Rappers have money, but R-MONEY’s money has money and it lives in money. He has so much money it’s heavy. Romney’s always saying that he loves money, and that we should love money, but the haters will hate. He celebrates people with money and how they got it. He even loves the little money so much he once didn’t give in a fight to protect it. He could’ve sued that guy and took his money but the point is he was on an airplane he didn’t own because he cares about the little money. He could buy his own airplanes and still have more money than an actress and a Senator. And the Senator can’t even remember how many houses he owns. I suppose he’s frontin’ and good on him. Humility is next to godliness which is...
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HEY EVERYBODY I’M OVER HERE! DON’T LOOK AT ME! This article from The Hill is making the conservative rounds and I’m not sure what to make of it. The author, Mike Lillis, opens by claiming that the Obama team is “[b]ucking protocol” because Presidential candidates have traditionally kept a low profile during their opponent’s nominating celebration, but Democrats are throwing those rules out the window in an attempt to spoil Mitt Romney’s coronation as the GOP nominee. This must be more of that Chicago-style politicking conservatives can’t stop complaining about. But let’s ask the experts: “Traditionally, there was a kind of courtesy extended to the party having the convention—the [other] party would basically stay out of the public eye,” said Ross Baker, political scientist at Rutgers University. And what’s the Obama team planning that’s so ungentlemanly? Even first lady Michelle Obama is in on the act, scheduling an appearance on the “David Letterman Show” smack in the middle of Romney’s nominating bash. Just out of curiosity, what was John McCain doing on 25 August 2008, the first night of the Democratic National Convention? According to “What’s on Today,” which you can find on page 7 in Section E of the New York Times on 25 August 2008: 11:35 P.M. (NBC) THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO Senator John McCain and the super swimmer Dara Torres are guests. Juliana Hatfield performs. I’m not sure how Michelle’s decision to go on the less popular late-night show bucks protocol, but whatever. Because you know what John McCain did on 26 August 2008, the second day of the Democratic National Convention? According to “Calling in the Big Guns,” which you can find on page 18 of Section A of the New York Times on 26 August 2008, he didn’t do much of anything. But what was that about “Big Guns”? Republicans on Tuesday stepped up their incursion into Democratic territory in Denver, with two party stars, Mitt Romney and Rudolph W. Giuliani, crossing enemy lines to get inside the convention hall for rounds of cable television interviews. It was a jarring image for Democrats: The two former Republican presidential candidates—one of them, Mr. Romney, right, a potential running mate for Senator John McCain—happily chatting on television with the elaborate Democratic Party stage at their backs. I’m sure Mitt Romney literally showing up and running the circuit at the Democratic National Convention doesn’t qualify as “[b]ucking protocol.” I’m not sure why it doesn’t, but it must not, given that Obama’s decision to do something on the second day of this year’s Republican National Convention represents such a grave break from tradition. But just so we’re clear about this tradition, we should look at how McCain went to great lengths not to upstage Obama on the fourth and final day of the Democratic National Convention. According to “McCain Has Made His Pick and Is Set to Tell on Friday,” which can be found on the 24th page of Section A of the New York Times on 28 August 2008: Senator John McCain has decided on...

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