“Wrigley Co. Uses Bestiality to Sell Skittles”

I lack the parodic skills required to improve the title or content of John Nolte’s latest screed. But I’ll try to shorter it anyway:

I used to laugh at loud at the term “slippery slope.”

Then I grew up.

AND WHEN I GREW UP LESBIANS WERE MAKING OUT WITH WALRUSES.

Can you tell which sentence I wrote? Me neither. Did I write this?

If you don’t think there’s an agenda behind this, you haven’t been paying attention the last 40 years. And if you don’t think that there are those who hold the levers of power in our popular culture that would like to remove the stigma from bestiality, you don’t understand the depths of sexual depravity the human animal is capable of.

Or what about this?

Again, what was the point of feminism?  Here’s your real war on women.  Waving enough money in front of an actress and have her do whatever depravities you can dream of.  Liberated?  If by that you mean women are to be accorded no respect and you can expect any female to do anything because to say no would be so uncool. Abortion liberates men because it allows them to walk away.  And if they pay for the abortion then they’re the good guy, taking responsibility.

Parody is dead. Long live actresses who kiss aborted walruses!

Comments

[Ahistoricality]

This is nothing new: 30 or 40 years or (never saw the publication, only the clipping) someone (probably Playboy) ran a cartoon with a similar mixed-species couple in bed, and the caption was something like "I never knew what a true orgasm was until I discovered tusks."

And let's face it, the mermaid myth...

Oh, never mind. It's filler. It was a slow day, 'cause the "Obama will declare martial law to avoid the election" thing isn't ripe yet. (Yes, I remember the "Bush could declare an emergency and void the election" talk on the left. It made sense at the time.)

[SEK]

But he'll fake his own assassination to do so, that's the kicker. I've got to say: it's a banner day for crazy if you're on the right. I'm sort of agog, honestly.

[Ahistoricality]

Which is deeply creepy, if you think about it: if Obama were assassinated, the right would already have a conspiracy theory in place insulating them from responsibility in which it were his own fault, and not true besides.