SEK's apartment complex just installed a basketball court right next to his apartment. SEK thinks this is awesome because he finds shooting basketballs to be a zen-like activity. So at 8 a.m. SEK takes his basketball and shoots around for an hour.
SEK: (shoots)
SEK: (gathers rebound)
SEK: (shoots)
SEK: (gathers rebound)
SEK: (shoots)
SEK: (gathers rebound)
SEK: (shoots)
SEK: (gathers rebound)
SEK: (shoots)
SEK: (gathers rebound)
SEK: (shoots)
SEK: (gathers rebound)
FOURTH GRADER #1 enters the court.
SEK: (shoots)
SEK: (gathers rebound)
FOURTH GRADER #1: Pass me the ball, would you?
SEK: (passes the ball)
FOURTH GRADER #1: (airballs)
SEK: (gathers rebound and shoots)
FOURTH GRADER #1: Hey! It was still my shot!
SEK: (passes the ball) Sorry about that.
FOURTH GRADER #1: (airballs)
FIFTH GRADER #1 appears on the court.
FIFTH GRADER #1: (gathers rebound and shoots) SKRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!
SEK: Where did you come—
FOURTH GRADER #2 joins him.
FOURTH GRADER #2: (gathers rebound and looks around) PRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!
SEK: Where did you—
As does THIRD GRADER #1.
FOURTH GRADER #2: (passes to THIRD GRADER #1) FRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!
THIRD GRADER #1: (fumbles pass) KRRRRRAAAAAAAAA!
SEK: (gathers ball and shoots)
Some INTERDIMENSIONAL PORTAL must have been opened because...
FIFTH GRADER #2: Quit hogging the ball!
THIRD GRADER #2: (shoots) BRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!
FIFTH GRADER #3: (gathers rebound and airballs) NNNNNAAAAAAAAAA!
FOURTH GRADER #3: (gathers rebound and airballs) MMMMMEEEEEEEEEE!
SEVENTH GRADER #1: (gathers rebound) SLLLLLAAAAAMMMMM! (not even close)
SIXTH GRADER #1: (gathers rebound and runs away with ball) TRRRRROOOOOOOOOO!
SEK: Come back here!
SIXTH GRADER #1: (throws ball into fence) TRRRRROOOOOOOOOO! (runs away)
SEK: (gathers ball and makes to leave the court)
ALL THE CHILDREN: HEY! COME BACK WITH OUR BALL!
SEK: It's my ball!
ALL THE CHILDREN: HE'S STEALING OUR BALL!
SEK: IT'S MY BALL! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE OR WHERE YOU CAME FROM!
ALL THE CHILDREN: THAT'S OUR BALL! IT HAS OUR NAME ON IT!
SEK: YOUR NAME IS "SPALDING NBA"?
ALL THE CHILDREN: IS YOURS?
SEK declines to answer their question and walks away. He realizes that if he stayed out any longer he'd look like a creepy old man who shouldn't be playing basketball with children anyway. But since SEK lives right next to the basketball court, he walks the long way back to his apartment lest ALL THE CHILDREN realize which porch is his and decide to play Eschaton with the many plants on it.
What kind of cricket are you even playing?
Posted by: Adam Roberts | Sunday, 16 September 2012 at 02:18 PM
The children in my apartment complex were out roaming in feral packs today, too. Completely blocking the roads around the complex with their utterly slow five-abreast walking, all with headphones in, and even when they turned and saw me, making eye contact, they didn't move out of the way until I revved my engine right behind them. Did they receive some kid version of Order 66?
Posted by: JT | Sunday, 16 September 2012 at 02:28 PM
What kind of cricket are you even playing?
Football with arms and nets. You know the one.
Did they receive some kid version of Order 66?
Granted, it's a Sunday, so the only ones out there are the ones skipping church, so they're obviously demonic in some way, shape or form.
Posted by: SEK | Sunday, 16 September 2012 at 02:33 PM
The title of this post wasn't always a 'Mats reference, was it?
Tommy says so.
Posted by: mxyzptlk | Monday, 17 September 2012 at 10:43 PM
It was. (And I still need to respond to your comments from earlier on the BB post. Am falling way behind. My apologies.)
Posted by: SEK | Tuesday, 18 September 2012 at 12:08 AM