Shorter Ann Althouse: Racists can't be racist because they love their racism.
So some of Scott Brown's staffers were caught tomahawk-chopping while war-whooping,
which is absolutely not a traditional means of representing Native
Americans as tomahawk-chopping, war-whooping, nothing-noble-about-them
savages. There's no history of American cinema in which Native Americans
were a violent bulwark against the tide of civilizing white men eager
to manifest their destiny. There's no history of American literature in
which Native Americans played the roles of "Captor #1" and "Captor #2"
and let's just call them "Tribe of Captors" in popular captivity narratives that identified war-whooping with lady-taking and child-killing. None of that is real because Ann Althouse said so:
See? "The Indian is his hero." Whose hero exactly? According to Althouse anyone doing the tomahawk chop.
Which means that she believes that performing a racially offensive
can't be considered racist because the performance itself is necessarily
an act of loving emulation. For example, if one of Scott Brown's white
staffers were to create a television show called
It couldn't be considered racist by definition because its
use of the stereotypical Chinese immigrant is evidence of that this
white staffer considers Chin-Kee to be "his hero." In all seriousness,
Althouse's problem is that she's so ignorant that she doesn't realize
that the stereotype of Native Americans that Brown's staffers invoke
isn't historically accurate, which is why she can claim, straight-faced,
that "these fake Indians, the staffers, are pretending to be real
Indians," when in actuality they're pretending to be racist stereotypes of Native Americans.
One day I will wake up in a world in which "Ann Althouse" is revealed
to be the work of an art collective trying to win a place in the Guinness Book of World Records for the Longest Sustained Installation of a Person Who Couldn't Possibly Exist. I pray that day comes soon.