Wednesday, 30 March 2005

what? What? WHAT? and the Best CFP Puns of the Week Sitting in an office this afternoon working over final grades with the course director and someone who enjoys watching my wince whinge and wallow informs me that next quarter--the one that happens after the quarter whose final grades I'm currently computing with the course director--that "next quarter" begins "next Monday" a.k.a. the day that's five days away and not as I'd spent the last week supposing the Monday that's at least twelve but in all probability nineteen days away. The pain strips commas from my clutches because who has time for commas when Spring is nigh and inspires unparalled alliterative fits. In news whose normally noxious effects on my sanity may have been mitigated by the surprising arrival of the Spring Quarter I present the lowlights of this week's Academic Calls For Papers (CFP) Puns Division: Ill-uminating Gender: Gender and Disease Corpo/realities roots/routes General stupidities include: "Integration and Fragmentation affect every aspect of contemporary life and academic activity...What kind of activities are integrating, which are fragmenting; and what manner of strategies might bring these issues together." "While much critical attention has been given to the disiplinary moves which have created the student body in education, the significance of teachers' bodies remains central to the production of knowledge...For this special edition we seek articles that examine this problematic through the signification of the teacher's body and the spaces in which teachers perform their identities. Teaching as performance implies an audience...We are looking for smart, lively essays that examine the construction of the teacher's body inside and outside the spaces of well as the performances that are required of teachers to maintain their status as (in)visible containers of knowledge." That second one slaughters. All this time I thought the goal of teaching was to perform the act of teaching THAT IS the mass migration of ideas from my head into my students' BUT it turns out that what I should've been doing all along is performing my identity for the students so that they might learn who I am and what's so FUCKING SPECIAL about me that they're spending upwards of $10,000 per annum to watch me perform my identity. (Commas are out 'cause I have no time for pausing but SHIFT IS IN because SHIFTING never slowed NO ONE down.) But this CFP's kicker is that despite its authors' investment in investigating say how teachers' bodies are marked through racial and racist knowledge even as these bodies are made and remade in and through interaction and performances in the classroom (and no there were no commas in the original) so that despite this investment these teachers presumably of English know it no better than our current Commander in Chief. They ask: What are the pedagogical functions of a teacher's body that is marked by difference? You have me there I admit that sentence isn't ungrammatical so much as tortured by its commitment to ugly awkward and ungainly phrasing. I could maybe bring this up with them via a smart lively...

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