Tuesday, 05 July 2005

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Stuffing the Cat Back in the Bag, or Anonymous: Yea or Nay? After reading Atrios' post yesterday on the value of blogging anonymously, I've decided to stuff the cat back into the bag. That's right: I'm going back to being anonymous.* I mean, imagine if this had happened to me: If you write something on the internet, it's public. A big blog links to it, suddenly you go from 50 hits per day to 5000 in one day. 5 hours later, CNN puts it on their "inside the blogs" segment, and suddenly you've gone national to a non-blog reading audience who are perhaps unaware of conventions of blogging. From 50 to 5000 hits in a single day? On CNN? Why would Lou Dobbs be interested in reading the insightful political analysis I never write? Why would Larry King want to the know the conventions of academic essay-writing? Why would that frightening woman--the one with the platinum hair and ridiculous blazers--why would she report on my penchant for rare and unusual words (and penning highly personal faux citational histories)? Why? Or maybe Atrios isn't talking about academic bloggers. Maybe the CNN will never love the A. Cephalous the way the A. Cephalous loves the CNN. Wait wait wait, the A. Cephalous doesn't love CNN. The A. Cephalous and his wife were discussing this very morning how little love the A. Cephalous household has for the CNN, what with its inspiring stories about giving underprivileged children pajamas and relentless attention to the weather.** Maybe that's why the CNN will feature the A. Cephalous, out of spite, out of hatred for the A. Cephalous' hatred. Then maybe the A. Cephalous will have to strike back. That's right, the A. Cephalous will strike back. Preemptively. From this day forward, the A. Cephalous will devote all his anonymous resources to destroying the CNN.*** Beware, Lou Dobbs! Beware, Larry King! Beware, disturbing-woman-with-hair-and-blazers! Your time has come! *Not really. **Not that we shouldn't provide underprivileged children with pajamas, mind you, but maybe it shouldn't be in the regular news cycle? Why not devote an entire hour to vigorously yanking of our collective (collected?) heartstrings? Call it, um, call it Dateline or something. ***Not really.

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