Sunday, 29 January 2006

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Sandbox Privilege; or Fingers in Ears, Vocal Cords on Repeat Next to the unsightly word, nothing about the blogosphere annoys me more than its ability to empower people to stick their fingers in their ears and yell "LA LA LA LA LA LA." Not that I have a particular example in mind. (Ignore that link. I don't know how it got there.) If someone declares "You didn't address this compendium of complaints" and someone else painstakingly addresses it, the former should not be able to say "I do not like how you addressed my points therefore I refuse to answer them" then ask another couple of questions then close the comments so as to render the latter unable to answer those questions in the forum in which they were raised. Now I know that every blogger has the playground privilege of gathering their toys and running home, but doing so violates even the attenuated conversational ethics of online interaction when someone does so after asking a direct question . . . especially when that direct question follows a thorough and diligent attempt to address a series of points one has accused another of failing to address. To wit: Jimmy: Transformers are superior to Gobots in every possible way one toy can be better than another. If they decide to bring back transforming robots, only an idiot would champion a Gobot renaissance. Billy: Gobots are so much cooler than Transformers! Look: First: Optimus Prime is a stupid truck with a stupid head and you're stupid if you think differently. Second: Cy-Kill is awesome because he has the word "kill" in his name and motorcycles go fast. Third: Rocks are so cool. I throw rocks all the time. So does everyone else. Who throws dinosaurs? No one. They're extinct. If they were so much better then why are they extinct? Jimmy: Let me address Billy's three-pronged argument which "definitively proves" his contention that Gobots are superior to Transformers. First: "[Leader-1] looks like recent vintage Michael Stipe [whereas] Optimus Prime looks bad-ass. Second: Cy-Kill is a pun so bad even these fools shun it. [Megatron] combines the Greek word for "great" (or the French for "important person") with the Greek suffix used to indicate "something fundamental." Plus it sounds an awful lot like "megaton" and Cy-Kill is a lame motorcycle and Megatron is a giant friggin' gun. Third: Some Gobots transformed into rocks. Rocks. Some Transformers transformed into dinosaurs. Rocks can't even move of their own volition. If no one is there to throw these Gobots then they barely deserve the name. Billy: I didn't say anything about Megatron or the Beast Wars! You are a terrible reader. Do you even care about robots able to become functional cars or jets or cybernetic dinosaurs? You don't. Obviously not. (sticks fingers in ears and proceeds to scream) LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA! (gathers toys and walks home) Now that I've purged that from my system . . .

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