Welcome to Our Jew Information Page; or, Hate Speech Theater I

After careful consideration I've decided I shouldn't have posted that in the first place.  I knew there was a reason I never posted it those many moons ago.  So I've banished it below the fold.  Too many layers of irony confuse the casual reader.  Plus I've gotten some hits I'm not altogether comfortable with from some sites whose readers lack critical acumen.  Or basic reading skills.  So begone!  However, this raises an interesting issue, one which I'll tackle tonight if I have energy enough after yet another marathon grading session.  With this many essays, the pile never seems to shrink . . .

UPDATE: As I wrote Rebecca, the more interesting issue [alluded to above] is how to turn racism against racists without seeming like you're making fun of the racist's target.  I can't bend it back without seeming, to the casual reader, racist myself.  How are we supposed to mock absurd views?  I kind of think we can't.  I'd say that's the last time I'm going to openly mock neo-Nazis, but I doubt it will be.   What I need to figure out is how to do so properly.

Here you find many truth Jews kill to hide.  Page work like I ask you Jew question and you don't know so I give Jew answer.  You will like so much as Jew hates. 

First question is "Why do Jew pick nose?"  Concede!  First answer is "Cheaper than tissue."

Second question is "Why Jew nose so big?"  Stop!  Second answer is "Because air free."

Third question is "What do Jew do when Jew friend leaves?"  Shut it!  Answer is "Check couch."

Fourth question is "What most disgusting about Jew clothes?"  This my boot!  Answer is "Jew occupant."

Final question is "Why no Jew eat pork?"  I will shoot!  Answer is "Torah prohibits cannibalism." 

Now you know Jew truth.  Please no share with Jew friends.  Please not have Jew friends first.  You kick them hard they cry Jew tears. They not mind they sell for maximum profit to Jews who not can cry!

[Addendum #1: Hate Speech Theater will focus exclusively on anti-semitic "humor."  I'm reproducing (with minor and I hope amusing variations) the stupidities I stumble across when I channel Deborah E. Lipstadt.  I would link to the pages I mock . . . but I don't feel like contributing to their hit count.]

[Addendum #2: Since I fear that sarcasm and tone and intent are often lost on the Internets, let me add that the joke here is that I've transmogrified the speech of Neo-Nazis into what I've heard from the mouths of elderly Yinglish-speakers. 'Cause what would infuriate a Neo-Nazi more than being jewified by a secular Jew?  Damn it.  The possibility of misunderstanding has completely ruined the joke.  I suppose anti-anti-anti-anti-anti-racism can't be subtle.]

Comments

[eM]

I heard eating boogers was good for the immune system.

[Josh]

I've known several elderly Yinglish speakers, and none talked like Bizarro. Where are these people, geographically?

"What biggest ethical dilemma Jew can face?" "Cheap ham." --told to me by a Gentile anthropology grad student upon his learning that I was a Jew.

[MT]

Can't we all just get along?

[Luther Blissett]

Scott, I've warned you before: all this talk of "secular Judaism" will bring down the wrath of Walter Benn Michaels on your head. By perpetuating racial logic, you're stopping underprivileged white kids from reading *I Am Charlotte Simmons*. Isn't that how the thinking goes? And anti-racist politics are *soooo* New Left. The Old Left was very simple: black people need to stop whining so that the WPA grants keep coming in. Scott, stop letting your freak flag fly!

[The following was a paid announcement from CitiCorp.]

[Scott Eric Kaufman]

LB, every time I stop a white kid from reading I Am Charlotte Simmons, an angel gets its wings.

Josh, this is my apprpoximation of the immigrants I heard attending synagogue in, if I'm remembering correctly, Rockaway NJ. (I think that's where we attended, but I was young at the time.) So this may be more "immigrant-inflected Yiddish," which should make those white supremicists hate my parody even more: now they're not only Jewish, but their foreign Jews.

MT, no. Where have you been?

eM, obviously not true. I'm Jewish and had cancer. See the problem?