Wednesday, 01 March 2006

A Dreamt Interview Which Reveals . . . That Scott Needs More Sleep [What follows is an interview conducted by a belligerent Scot who mistook Your Humble Author for an authority of some sort.] Q: Ah mean tae ask aboot "historicism" and whut its fir? A: That's an excellent question and one I'll answer in detail when I . . . Q: Ye answer now. Ah've goat to git started on ma article. A: Alright I'll answer now. Historicism is . . . Q: Fuckin right ye answer now. A: I'm answering. Q: Ye answer to ma satisfaction or I fuck ye oop in ways ye cannae handle. A: If you'll let me get a word in . . . Q: No fuckin hairm in tryin ye rank bastard. Ye dinnae understand aboot what ah cud do to ye. A: What? Q: Ye think yir mair than ye shud wi yir fancy jaykit n hair combed like as if yir . . . A: What is it to you how I comb my hair? Q: Ye dinnae wan what ah huv tae gie. A: Who are you anyway? Q: So yir gaunnae dress proper but find yir oan heid swelled wi wha ah've landed wi ma fists. A: I'm Batman. Q: Wha? A: Don't mess with me. I'm Batman. Q: Yir no Batman. A: Ah'm Batman! Q: An ah'm Robin! [At this point Scott wakes up. He realizes he had another Batman dream. Fearing he had yelled "I'm Batman!" in a Scottish accent he looks to his left to be sure The Little Womedievalist is still sound asleep. She wasn't. As he would later remember she had left at 5 A.M. for her UCLA seminar and therefore could not have heard him. With relief he sits up . . . only to find three cats squat on the bed staring at him. He can't be certain but he believes they heard him yell "Ah'm Batman!" As he opens his mouth to ask if they'd heard him yell "Ah'm Batman!" he realizes people would think him insane if interrogated his cats. Then he decided to blog about it because his lack of shame is compensated heartily by his desire to entertain. He blames the G-d of his fathers for this. Then he turns over and hopes against hope to dream he's Batman again . . . ]

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