Saturday, 11 March 2006

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TONAL CALISTHENICS!!! PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW TOLAXOR WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND TOLAXOR'S APPEAL. BUT SCOTT THINKS HE HAS FOUND OUT WHAT IT IS!!! IT IS HALTING SENTENCES THAT YOU THINK IS SCOTT YELLING THAT MAKES WHAT HE SAYS FUNNY TO YOU!!! THE TOO MANY PRONOUNS AND LACK OF OR EXCESSIVE PUNCTUATION HELPS TO PRODUCE THE FUNNY YOU FEEL WHEN HE TYPES!!! TO TEST THIS HYPOTHESIS SCOTT DECIDED TO EXPERIMENT WITH ONLINE TONE BY WRITING THE FIRST WORDS OF SUPER NOVELS IN ALL CAPS. HERE ARE THE RESULTS AND THEY ARE ENCOURAGING. HERE IS PRIDE AND PREJUDICE. IT IS BY JANE AUSTEN. SHE IS A WOMAN!!! SHE SAYS IT IS A TRUTH UNIVERSALLY ACKNOWLEDGED THAT A SINGLE MAN IN POSSESSION OF GOOD FORTUNE MUST BE IN WANT OF A WIFE. THAT IS TRUE AND YOU SHOULD BELIEVE IT. CAN YOU??? ALSO TRUE IS THAT HOWEVER LITTLE KNOWN THE FEELINGS OR VIEWS OF SUCH A MAN MAY BE ON HIS FIRST ENTERING A NEIGHBOURHOOD THIS TRUTH IS SO WELL FIXED IN THE MINDS OF SURROUNDING FAMILIES THAT HE IS CONSIDERED THE RIGHTFUL PROPRERTY OF SOME ONE OF OTHER OF THE DAUGHTERS. THAT SENTENCE IS LONG!!! THAT IS ALL TRUE AND SCOTT WILL ATTEST TO ITS TRUTH. BUT IT IS A FICTION AND THAT IS CONFUSING. YOU LIKE JANE AUSTEN AT ELEVEN??? SHE READS SO WELL THERE!!! SHE SHOULD WRITE THERE ALL THE TIME. SCOTT THINKS THIS SHOULD NOT SURPRISE HIM BUT HE ALSO THINKS THAT THIS TONAL SHIFT SHOULD BE FACILITATED BY SOMETHING MORE THAN A CAPS LOCK AND SOME EXCESSIVE PUNCTUATION. WHAT IS IT ABOUT THESE THINGS THAT STRAINS THE VOICE A WRITER HAS ALREADY ESTABLISHED??? IS IT A CUMULATIVE EFFECT??? A FAUX HOARSENESS IN TYPED WORDS WHICH ALTERS THE TONE OF WHAT IS SAID??? WHAT IS IT!!! WHAT DO YOU HEAR AS I TYPE THIS??? SO ANYWAY TO READ THE INSPIRATION CLICK BELOW THE FOLD. SCOTT THINKS THERE IS SOMETHING INTERESTING IN THIS EVEN THOUGH IT IS SO ANNOYING!!! P.S. THANKS FOR JOINING MY FRAPPR!!!! YES THAT IS FOUR EXCLAMATION POINTS BECAUSE IT HAS ONE ALREADY!!! YOU SEE THE FORMULA. ALSO P.P.S. TO LAST NIGHT'S MYSTERY INTERLOCUTOR. YOU MADE SCOTT LAUGH FOR AN HOUR STRAIGHT AND FOR THAT SCOTT THANKS YOU!!! THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO TOLAXOR (SCROLL DOWN TO COMMENT #8) IS HERE: DID YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL THEM WHITE CASTLES??? THERE'S AN OBSCURE GREEK FABLE IN WHICH ARTEMIS ( THE VIRGIN GODDESS OF THE MOON, FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO MAY HAVE FORGOTTEN) TAKES A FANCY (DIRECT TRANSLATION) TO A YOUNG SPARTAN NAMED PHIL!!! EVERY NIGHT FOR A FORTNIGHT, ARTEMIS VISITS PHIL IN HIS HOVEL TEMPTING HIM TO RETURN HER LOVE AND JOIN HIM IN THE SKY AS HER ETERNAL LOVER!!! EACH NIGHT, PHIL THE SPARTAN DECLINES, AS HE'S ACTUALLY SECRETLY IN LOVE WITH A HAIRY GREEK LADY NAMED APINE (PRONOUNCED APEEN) WHO, HERSELF IS THE QUEEN OF THE GREAT KING OF THE ISLAND OF LIPSI, TIM!!! TIM, KING OF LIPSI, IS FABULOUSLY FAMOUS BECAUSE HIS ROYAL THRONE IS A GIANT...

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