And On The Sixth Day...

. . . he awoke inarticulate and was:

1. Incoherent while the coffee brewed.
2. Silent while he drank it.
3. Feebleminded before the caffeine kicked.
4. A dullard once it did.
5. Lethargic as he watered plants.
6. Thick when he watered pots.
7. Thicker when they contained no plants.
8. Thickest when they were empty.
9. Aghast at the mess he'd made.
10. Overwhelmed by the clean-up it entailed.
11. Speechless to explain it.
12. Simple-minded when he started writing.
13. Simpler-minded minutes later.
14. Confounded by the simplest thing.
15. Bewildered by the simpler.

So he stood up and paced per doctorate's orders and was:

1. Winded by exertion.
2. Shocked awake by the pain.
3. Almost comatose with effort.
4. Struck by unathleticism.
5. Saddened by his state.
6. Determined to exercise.
7. Drained at the very thought.
8. Resigned to sedentary life.
9. And sedentary thrills.
10. And sedentary ass.

He picked himself from the floor and sat at his desk and for the next four hours wrote:

1. Fluff.
2. Howlers.
3. Screamers.
4. Fallacies.
5. Errors.
6. Missteps.
7. Stupidities.
8. Clinkers.
9. Clunkers.
10. Gaffes.
11. Inaccuracies.
12. Idiocies.
13. Blunders.
14. Falsehoods.
15. One blog post.

Comments

[EMY]

Were you at my house yesterday? Because that sounds too much like MY day.

[M Schwartz]

Even on unproductive, sedentary days, Scott, that priceless sense of humor of yours never disappoints.

[Theophrastus Bombastus von Hoehenheim den Sidste]

WHO ARE YOU?

Why are you spying on me?

What did I ever do to you?

[Scott Eric Kaufman]

Seventh grade, Theo. Remember? You said I "looked at you funny." Who's laughin' now, Theo? Wait, it looks like you are. Damn it, what's so funny in there? And can you spot a famished stalker a Cheeto or two? I'd appreciate it.

[Pierce Nahigyan]

I was talking to God the other day and he was pretty pissed--talking about suing on plagiarism charges and the like. Seems he encountered a similar dry spell on HIS sixth day. I mentioned to God that we all have the occasional clunky spell, and that, in a given week, I'll seven or eight of them. God kind of giggled--less to do with my attempt at humor than at some cosmic inner joke he's got about the lost eighth day. Or maybe he's just a Beatles fan.

[Scott Eric Kaufman]

If God loved the Beatles, Yoko wouldn't have broken 'em up. Ipso facto God is a Stones' fan. Could be worse, though. I mean, Exile on Main Street's a damn fine album.

[Pierce Nahigyan]

Yes, but God has a nasty habit of destroying those things he loves via grotesque agents of malice (i.e., Judas, the Great Flood, Yoko Onno, and Comic-Book-Movie-Adaptations).

[Tanya Anderson]

"Incoherent while the coffee brewed" seems to be my middle name of late.

[Theophrastus Bombastus von Hoehenheim den Sidste]

God be Praised! I feared you might be "Sparky" from fifth grade at Washington Memorial.

Seamos amigos para la vida, de este adelantar de día. Em dias ensolarados, nós podíamos falar de Habermas e Plesset. Foor Fredagbar, med fadool og vand, snakker vi om Mooller og Kirkegaard til efternat. Wahrheit wird gesprochen, wo Männer ehrlich sind.

Nessuno sparare nella faccia, e stare attento l'editore di tesi.

Theo