Murglarizing American History the Reginald Kenneth Dwight Way

Two posts about The Battle of New Orleans on one blog?  Insanity!  And yet:

As I watched the underrated Elizabethtown recently, I made a mental note of the fact that Cameron Crowe has now had two films in which Elton John songs figure prominently.  Like every kid who came of age after Say Anything premiered, I fancied myself "a Lloyd" and sought out heartbreakers so I too could hoist a stereo above my head and "serenade" my Diane with "In Your Eyes."  Alas!  Instead I ended up heavily medicated in a tree outside my first love's window alternately bawling and asleep.  (I had an excuse . . . and a head swaddled such that I had a gauzy half-leia thing going on.  How could she have resisted?)  But I digress. 

The Say Anything soundtrack—like its taste-making compatriot Singles—took pains to prove that despite being married to a founding member of Heart, Cameron had chops: Peter Gabriel, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Replacements, Fishbone, Depeche Mode, Living Colour &c.  Now that was a soundtrack . . . typical of a time and a place and an attitude I sheepishly emulated.  Same logic applpies Elizabethtown.  Right down to the Elton John song "My Father's Gun."

Lyrically the song is typical early '70s Taupin-penned bombast [.mp3]

From this day on I own my father's gun
We dug his shallow grave beneath the sun
I laid his broken body down below the southern land
It wouldn't do to bury him where any Yankee stands

I'll take my horse and I'll ride the northern plain
To wear the colour of the greys and join the fight again
I'll not rest until I know the cause is fought and won
From this day on until I die I'll wear my father's gun

I'd like to know where the riverboat sails tonight
To New Orleans well that's just fine alright
'Cause there's fighting there and the company needs men
So slip us a rope and sail on round the bend

As soon as this is over we'll go home
To plant the seeds of justice in our bones
To watch the children growing and see the women sewing
There'll be laughter when the bells of freedom ring

When I initially listened to the lyrics I thought them slyly brilliant. Taupin's narrator longs to head south and fight in one of the few major engagements unknowingly fought after the peace treaty ending its war had been signed.  You know: "The Battle of New Orleans."  So we have the British-to-the-bone Reginald Kenneth Dwight inhabiting the voice of an American who wants to fight in a war already over because he hears "the Company needs men."  The Americans lost 13 and had 58 wounded; the British lost approximately 700 and had 2000 wounded.  What would the Americans have done had Taupin not sent intrepid Elton to the rescue?  Would fourteen have fallen?  Perish the thought!

Then I realized the talk of "southern land" and its partner-in-rhyme "where any Yankee stands" probably place this song in the Civil instead of 1812 War.  But that only makes the song stranger.  Now Sir Elton is an orphaned Southern Boy who wants to parrot the slave's death sentence by traveling down the Mississippi on a riverboat to a city blockaded the Union Navy?  And the reason this anti-Wilberforce wants to join the fight?  To ensure that children will grow (Can't have them not now can we?) and women will sew (What else are they good for besides producing stunted children?) and that there'll be laughter when the bells of freedom ring . . . in the infamous New Orleans slave markets wherein wealthy white landowners will again be free to trade in human chattel.  While laughing.  To murglarize one of my favorite passages in all of literature as thoroughly as they did American history:

By what metagrobalistic circumbilvaginations can Taupin and John justify this emblustricated gibble-gabble gibberish of odious error and heresy?

Comments

[Thomas Elrod]

Ah, but don't forget, Cameron Crowe has another film that prominently features Elton John: "Almost Famous," in which at least two Elton John songs are featured, most noticeably "Tiny Dancer," which the whole band sings in unison on the bus.

See, it's symbolic! They're a "family!"

[jholbo]

I was going to say: "Tiny Dancer". But Thomas beat me to it.

[Scott Eric Kaufman]

(takes out stick, puts on Cartman voice) Bad readers! Bad! Bad! (puts stick away, dons his voice again)

The link up there to "two films" takes you to Almost Famous. No holding close for either you for twenty minutes. You'll have to bear this one alone.

[Thomas Elrod]

I am shamed...

Having not seen "Elizabethtown," I figured that there was some Elton John kicking around in there, too. Your linking skills, of course, far surpass my knowledge of film soundtracks.

[Scott Eric Kaufman]

I call it "link judo." And anyhow, the fact that you and John both punted that one means that the lack of clarity is mine, not yours.

[Too Funny To Delete]

elton john is an ARTIST YOUR JUST A FAGGOTT WITH A BLOG.

[I can't bring myself to delete this comment. Did an irate Elton John fan actually try to insult me by calling me a "FAGGOTT." 'Cause if so, well, he or she is in for a shock someday. - The Management]

[K.L.]

Just wanted to delurk for a moment and say that although the comments don't bear it out, I think these oddball posts are the best of this blog. (Besides the deliberately funny stuff.) There's something about watching intelligent people muddle through their thoughts I just enjoy.

[NewClassicAppreciation]

You know, your above sentence of 'despite being married to a founding member of Heart', got me thinking.

I think 'Almost Famous' singlehandedly gave me a sudden appreciation for two whole decades of music. I had formerly really quite despised 60's and 70's music that languered in the 'Classic Rock' genre. I grew up a child of the 80's and really heavily got into punk aka emo punk in the 90's which was all about 'politics and integrity'. So I think I just disliked what I saw as manly posing and slick non-truthfullness in the music, clothing, and mood of the 70's decade. Then in one fell swoop, in one movie and soundtrack, I learned to appreciate Led Zepellin and the like. Why? Empathy. That movie and soundtrack made the 70's Classic rock accessable to me, a younge lesbian, because I was finally able to understand where they were coming from, what theye were growing up in, and what the time was like (as much as film can convey that kind of meaning.)
Heart is now one of my favorite bands.
Whodathunk it.