Wednesday, 31 May 2006

Under The Knife 2006 Vintage UTK By Will Carroll I’ll be honest. It’s been a good, long weekend and I have nothing for the intro. Powered by a 1994 Glenrothes Vintage, on to the injuries: Kerry Wood struck out everyone—including the peanut vendor and the visiting radio announcer—when he was in Peoria. "Unhittable," one scout told me. That same scout saw Mark Prior pitch on Monday night and struggled to find words. He sighed and groaned before finally saying something I can’t print here. "There was nothing right with him. No velocity (a max of 90). No command. No movement. No missed bats. No consistency—his stride was never the same and his arm was slow. If he wasn’t Mark Prior, I’d say he was at the right level. I have no idea what happened to him." Prior only went two innings before hitting his pitch count and now we’ll have to wait to see how he recovers. Not only did he show only a bit more velocity, but the absent control might be even more worrisome. Prior will have one more rehab start at Peoria, but at this stage, it might be time to think about slowing this down. One observer reminded me of another pitcher who lost it—Roy Halladay. It will be interesting to see if the Cubs can be as forward-looking as the Blue Jays once were. Looks like Acephalous got lucky. Scott Eric Kaufman's injuries are severe but not career-threatening, and he could be back in six weeks. Other bloggers have recovered from serious injuries more quickly, but no one will mistake Kaufman for a quick healer. One doctor I spoke to compared his injuries to those a football player might suffer if they had Kaufman's frame and were tackled by a 790 lbs. linebacker. "We see the same injuries, albeit not quite so severe, in young running backs who don't know how to take a tackle properly." Kaufman's been diagnosed with a hip pointer (a deep bone bruise of the pelvis caused by compressive forces), a left oblique strain (a tearing of the of the internal oblique muscles from the undersurface of his lower ribs), and a lower lumbar sprain (a detaching of ligaments in the lower back). He will return to the UCI Medical Center next week for another MRI and his first session with the physical trainer. Although rest is the only real cure for these types of injuries, I think Kaufman may be back sooner than anyone expects. UCI's doctors live on the bleeding edge of modern medicine. "They told me to sit on a ball," Kaufman told me. The big blow for the Phillies on Monday wasn’t another Ryan Howard bomb, it was losing Jon Lieber to the DL. Lieber pulled up covering first—and yes, there has been a major uptick in this type of injury this season—and left an inning later. The groin strain isn’t serious, but it's certainly enough to necessitate the DL move. With a history of elbow and back problems, the...
The Idiot's Guide to Scott's Idiosyncratic Theoretical Orientation (Sadly, Not Complete With Cartoons) I'm not up to producing original content tonight. Fortunately, Forgotten Boy and N. Pepperell are having an incredibly stimulating conversation down in the comments to this post. Were I able to put two and two together tonight I'd jump in. (Forgotten Boy continues to write circles around the competition. I wish I'd wished to be hit by a car to write like him before. I'd wish it now, but it'd be in poor taste. Don't want to be offending myself after all.) Also, a number of people have professed a desire to understand my particular theoretical orientation. Here are some links to posts in which its contours are visible: My long meditation on theoretical eclecticism. It's my contribution to the Theory's Empire event and discusses why I value a confrontational mode of literary scholarship. Another long post, this time about New Historicists' love of homologies and my problem with them. A veritable sonnet concerning my devotion to historical accuracy over and above all commitments theoretical. Speaking of which: my feelings about uncritical theoretical commitments. (Be sure to read the comments.) A bit about my tortured relatonship with Foucault. (The second bit of which is, as Matt'll tell you, still pending.) My intellectual history. The funnier version of my intellectual history. The New Historicist reading list I put together earlier this year. The text of my public lecture about historicisms old and new. All of these pieces are flawed and incomplete, but as I've never written a comprehensive account of my critical position, they'll have to suffice for the moment. Needless to say, I've changed my mind about some of that since I wrote it, but it'll provide those who seek to understand my position better a sound starting point. P.S. Some of you have websites whose banner and layout bore me to sleep before I have a chance read a word you say. Luckily for you I have a solution: Lauren's "willing 2 work 4 fud." You can find some examples of her work on Feministe as well as the sites she links to in that post. Like Dr. B's. How can you not love that banner? It's classic. Yours can be too. Were I not married to a graphic designer, dirt poor and on the path that terminates in Dickensian gutters, I'd hire her myself.

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