Friday, 09 June 2006

Commonplace—An Insurgency

Tim McCarver during Game 7 of the 1986 National League Championship Series

"This isn't a baseball game, it's an insurgency."

Jun 9, 2006 9:44:00 AM | Commonplace

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Commonplace—And a Monkey! Vin Scully on 6 June 2006: "So Carlos bought a monkey. He brought it down and let everyone see it. Everyone loved the monkey. When he got back to Puerto Rico he talked his famous neighbor Chi Chi into getting a monkey too. Being a serious and studious man, Carlos read all he could about monkeys. He learned that they live to be 45 years old. He thought 'That's quite a commitment to make to a monkey.' So when he got back to the States he sold the monkey. This isn't a children's story, kids. He sold the monkey."
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Filler Alluding to Substance The most venerable b to the p to the h to the d sends me the following account of middle schoolers who catch their teachers en déshabille. I'm reminded of a time when something similar happened to me. You may remember it. Lord knows I do. But the reportage in that article offends me on a number of levels. My first thought was "Teachers these days. Where's a person to send the kids he doesn't have to middle school anymore?" But then I changed course. You see, I teach literary journalism—emphasis on "literary"—but none of my kids would punt an article like these AP Press punks did: Both teachers have unlisted phone numbers and could not be reached for comment Thursday. An unlisted phone number stopped them? "By God!" I thought. "Someone should get those poor reporters some reporters!" I've got freshmen more enterprising than these fools. Sometime next week I'll be posting a number of the articles written by "my kids." I've a class this quarter whose work is on par with most of what's produced for $1 per word. Point of fact: I've spent all day working with them, which is why I've tried to convince you a recapitulated email exchange counts as a post. By the way, did I mention I like money?

Scott Eric Kaufman

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