The Mirror of Flebotinum; or, Medieval Buffy (Sadly Sans Trolls)

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The Little Womedievalist forwards an item of interest to medievalists and Buffy fans alike:

For those of you who haven't spent the past two quarters in an intensive paleography seminar, that paragraph opens

Hoc est speculum fleobothomie . . .

The rough translation reads "this is the mirror of flebotomy."  Now a phlebotomy is nothing more than a venous extraction of blood by a trained phlebotomist.  But if we pretend medieval manuscripts adhere to some code of regularized spelling, "fleobothomie" almost sorta kinda puns Joss Whedon's infamous "flebotinum."  Since he only revealed the existence of this mysterious substance in the commentary track to the first episode of the first season of Buffy, its orthographical heritage is about as pure as what one likely finds in medieval manuscripts.  You know, pure as whimsy.  Almost every appearance of the word demurs in ignorance.  But no one challenges the definition:

Whatever technological or mystical or manuscriptical explanation the plot requires.

Giles finds a book or Willow hits the web or Xander trips over an ancient relic which just so happens to be the key to resolving whatever conflict the Scooby Gang happened to encounter.  Easy enough.  But what would "the mirror of flebotinum" be?  The dark designs of the writers' collective unconscious reflecting their creative inadequacies and daring them to put pen to paper?  Would it challenge writers: "You can't write Buffy's way out of this one!"  Or would it whisper the limits of audience flebotinal gullibility?  "You can have Willow fall in love online . . . but if you turn her lover into a cyborg demon they'll all laugh at you."  I just don't know.

Bonus points to the person who can identify the best flebotinum in canonical literature.  I have some candidates, but since my memory's now notoriously unreliable, I'll let you have the first crack at it.

Comments

[Stephen]

The classic literary flebotinum is of course spontaneous human combustion in Dickens' Bleak House.

[Jesse A.]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this just Whedon's clever, buffified way of referring to a McGuffin?

[Scott Eric Kaufman]

Stephen, you win. Blowing characters up from the inside solves all problems.

Jesse, the difference is that the McGuffin becomes the focus of the reader/viewer's attention. Hitchcock used it to deceive his audience into believing in the importance of an important thing in order to distract them, whereas Whedon blends it into the background in order to grease the plot-wheels. That makes me sound like I'm knocking The Joss, but I'm really not. He simply lacked the requisite time to transfrom flebotinum into Golden McGuffin.

[Adam Roberts]

I read a thing somewhere about Star Trek (TNG, actually) and their use of the 'narratons', a force not unlike gravitons that bends reality around the requirements of the plot. 'But why can't we just fly away from this dangerous situation and/or blast them with photon torpedoes, Geordie?' 'It's no good Captain: the narraton field is too strong.'

On the other hand:
fleo (Latin, long 'e'): to weep, cry, shed tears.
bothomie (from Greek, bothos or boethos, 'assisting, auxiliary'): a facilitator.
Hence, fleobothomie, something that helps you cry. Like that episode of Buffy where Buffy's Mum died.

[courtney]

I like the idea of the characters of Buffy being referred to as the Scooby Gang because I never watched that show, but that is hilarious. The four or five of them could easily be the followers of Scooby Doo, Fred, Daphne, Shaggy, and Velma if only they had a big cartoon like mascot for their gang. Well, I have never watched the show so maybe they do have like a vampire or something.