Wednesday, 26 July 2006

A Just Humiliation Earlier today, on a blog with unlinkable comments, I wrote: Never fails. Correct someone’s spelling? Alwasy wtih a coupel fo typso. Praise clarity and precision? Always needlessly verbosely, with neither wit nor style evident in the presentation of the intended declamation, and frequently with errors of a grammatical nature, as evidenced in the previous comment vis-a-vis subject-verb agreement. The same Law of Just Humiliation applies to outbursts of blog triumphalism. Yesterday's post applauded in cluttered, clunky prose the clarifying influence of regular writing on the awkward word-stylings of academics. Terrible, it was, what I wrote, thinking I did so well. When, in truth, I failed in practice of that which I preached, and most egregiously, no less. But, I contend, even in this failure—complete though it be—I learned that on a blog you can only merely ever aspire to champion a cause like clarity, because you cannot revise unless you plan posts weeks in advance. But to do so would defeat the purpose, transfude the daily writing into a daily written chore ... and who among working academics does not already possess hoards of chores they blog to banish momentarily? If I extravagate into distant, anti-triumphal territory tonight, I do so because I lack the means to trochiscate some palliative into an easily digestible form. Would that I were possessiant of a pill expatiative, a curative of such impressive spectrum as to wither all fears and roots. Were that my fears more meloniform, that I could shoot or swat sans purfle and sink or jack them thus from yardland ... ... by which I mean, I'd delve into the OED and make myself feel a little less stupid and pointless by parading my recently acquired vocabulary before all you ignoramuses. You know, all y'all who don't recognize them words I wrote previously immediately. Y'all have to "consult" some dictionary to sensify me? I'm so much more superior. You may as well as go do what I feel like doing but am "cleverly" "disguising" by "insults" I'm sure y'all "take" "to heart." Doomed, we are, and to terrible things, no less.

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