Thursday, 10 August 2006

"Friday" "Random" "Ten" There you are, in a good mood—the dishes are done, the floor's vacuumed and, yes, you've even done a little laundry—so you decide to sit down and write a "Random Ten." You hit "shuffle" and—what? "For my nineteenth birthday, I got my union card and my wedding coat"? Who's shuffling my shuffler? (The Devil, silly.) That explains it. So, with a heavier-than-anticipated heart, I present my Friday Random Ten ... on Thursday, because I can: Bruce Springsteen, "The River" [.mp3] What can I say? I'm a Jersey boy and this song breaks my heart. It'll break yours too. If it doesn't, Rosie the Riveter just put you on her list. The Band, "Look Out Cleveland" [.mp3] Two songs in a row about towns blowing away. Mother of ... stop. (Hammer Time?) No. But I'll take a page from his ministerial book and repeat things really, really hard until I think they're true: You believe in the power of positive thinking. You believe in the power of positive thinking. You believe in the power of positive thinking. (Do you?) No, but I have another idea. I love game shows. Just like faith, only with prizes. Another approach, then: C'mon now! Big money, big money, no whammies, big money ... Wilco, "Kamera (Take Two)" [.mp3] Big money! The inevitable Wilco song and/or demo. Given the ratio of Wilco to non-Wilco tracks on my iRiver, the odds of a Wilco appearance on a "Random Ten" are, um, how 'bout we leave it at "good"? This take's a happier, if harder, of the YHF gem. C'mon now! Big money, big money, no whammies, big money ... Big Star, "Kangaroo" [.mp3] Whammy! The Whammy King, really. Boy howdy, does anything depress a body more than the sound of Alex Chilton's sanity dissolving while the tape keeps running? (At least the peppier depression of, say, "O Dana" [.mp3] could've popped up.) So much for pressing my luck. I'll take "Happy Songs That Make Scott Happy" for $400, Alex ... Soul Asylum, "Cartoon" [.mp3] Sorry, what? Oh, forgot, the form of a question. "What is proof that a band can release a greatest hits album which contains exactly one song representative of their best work?" "Happy Songs That Make Scott Happy" for $600, Alex ... What is Matthew Sweet's "Devil With the Green Eyes" [.mp3]? Not cool, Alex, not cool. This ain't "Depressing Songs Proudly Depressing Scott Since 1993." It's "Happy Songs That Make Scott Happy." You're lucky I don't have lasers, punk. (But you do.) Not here. You and I? We're through, Trebek. Pat, I'd like to solve the puzzle ... The Pogues, "Danny Boy" [.mp3] "Danny Boy," Pat? The version sung for John Peel in 1984, before Shane became the man, er, man-boy he is today? You're killing me, Pat. Killing me. I should've stuck with the Canuck. No more game shows for Y.T. No Pat, I don't want to buy a vowel, I'd rather blow my brains out with a pistol up my arse...

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