Saturday, 21 October 2006

Spam Poetry, Part II Unlike the previous installment—in which I transformed an entire "work" of spam into a single poem—this time I've culled single lines from a multitude of spam in an attempt to create eerily impersonal poetry. I've a file in which I store spam-text, so creating these poems consisted of finding just the right line to develop each to what I, in the spirit of the originals, will call its "most maximal potential." I played by the rules this time—each line is rendered as it arrived in my inbox, with no change in tense or pronomial shifts—but in the future I may fiddle with the formula until "I can deliver it superbly every time the way she likes it." For now, the rules are the rules "even though most people don't know they exist yet." I think most of the lines will be recognized "easily and instantly, without you having to do anything." I that think contributes to a charm "which will certainly be increasing over time, especially in the next year." So yes, the "poems": Mostly Urgent* The great prognosis is drawn up. The achievements of our highly capable partnership will exceed all expectations. The key is getting in early. We have a place for you. Can you confirm your interest in our mutual respect? We will remember your notification number. The transaction is without risk. You should not entertain any fear at all. There will be no stopping this one. Right now we wait for it triple. Increases are not down lately. We advise you to buy today. *Our target is a modular fish system. Race War The race war will come. You will likely be a winner. Chief John's Plan My name is Chief John. I have a very sensitive Plan which may interest you if You are not the man you once were. If you have ever wanted To reclaim the virile potency of your youth, Give my plan a thought and get back to me soon, As a demonstration of your interest In recapturing your masculinty With rapid short term growth. Bad Timing You can live a longer and fuller life unless The cause of death is suspicious. (By then it will be too late.) Real Men Hear Voices Imagine being able to have: Died in a boat accident when returning from a business trip— With your entire family in a tragic plane crash— From an unexpected cancer of the breast— At the hands of unpatriotic rebels— Or suddenly. You would surely take advantage of the opportunity To see your loved ones taken care of. But do not tell them them when you start communicating with them. (Except for the brother of the President: No one can scare a real alpha male.) We Aim to Articulate We seek history. We are casting our net widely. Spectacles and speculations frame us. They are made of history. Guaranteed. Unnecessary Risk We will reclaim necessity. It will help us navigate The many dangers out there For people just like you....

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