IRVINE, CA — An accident involving two cats, one vodka tonic and a Dell Inspiron 8500 laptop claimed the lives of two spiral notebooks and severely injured a keyboard earlier this afternoon.
Upon arrival, the keyboard was conscious but unresponsive. According to an eyewitness, "it tried to write something, but all I could read was 'JFDIL;paq2[39an asd'faPOIJ? NFAOITH$!'" It is currently listed in critical condition.
One male resident, identified by multiple witnesses as Scott, reportedly lost access to three of four email addresses in the tragedy. "I'm sorry if you've written and I haven't responded. I'm just an idiot and have no idea what my other passwords are."
Authorities believe the incident may have been the latest in the recent spate of gang violence plaguing the Kaufman household. Although no suspects are currently in custody, a police spokesperson estimated the responsible parties will be identified soon.
Good Lord man, you own(ed) an 8500? I had no idea grad study was such a lucrative business!
Posted by: Steve | Sunday, 03 December 2006 at 04:14 AM
Give me back my cats! I've paid the ransom what more do you want from me? *wails*
Seriously your cats look way too much like mine. Especially the orange one.
Posted by: History Geek | Sunday, 03 December 2006 at 07:39 PM
You're calling this an accident?
Just one pass through my decode program and I have a very different interpretation of what your laptop was trying to tell you:
'PLEASE;help[when you'reGONE? CAT-ASTR0P!'''
Hey, I'm no criminologist, but, we may be looking at an inside job here.
Posted by: davidbdale | Monday, 04 December 2006 at 11:34 AM
This post is hilarious! Thanks for making me smile on quite a sad day.
Posted by: Carol | Saturday, 30 April 2011 at 03:28 AM