Friday, 02 February 2007

Meanwhile, In Space...

(For those utterly baffled by what I've written, a suggestion.)

Oglethorpe: Emory, come quick und see mein moving pictures on the television!

Emory: Hey, I was like asleep and stuff.

Oglethorpe: You will sleep like a dead person after I have killed you if you are not silent und vatching!

(Foxnews plays clip of Ignignokt being detonated by Boston police.)

Emory: Is that who I think it was?

Oglethorpe: Vait a minute und they will show it again!

(Foxnews plays clip of Ignignokt being detonated by Boston police.)

Emory: I thought the plan was, like, for us to kill him and stuff.

Oglethorpe: Quiet!  I vant silence while I dance und express ze happiness that I am feeling when they show him explode again.

(Foxnews plays clip of Ignignokt being detonated by Boston police.)

Oglethorpe: Oh!  His death by explosion it never gets old.  I cannot wait the three minutes for it to be shown again!

(Foxnews plays clip of Ignignokt being detonated by Boston police.)

Emory: Um—

Oglethorpe: Um no thing!  We vill observe silence when we are watching him ex—

(Foxnews plays clip of Ignignokt being detonated by Boston police.)

Emory: I don't know, you know, I think it may get boring after a while.

Oglethorpe: Vait, vait, this is mein favorite part!

(Foxnews plays clip of Ignignokt being detonated by Boston police.)

Emory: Are you sure that's him down there, because there are a couple of—

Oglethorpe: Of course it is, you can tell by how he explodes und makes me happy.

Emory: I don't know, it just seems—

Oglethorpe: —like you are a terrible person who vants to ruin my happiness vith his always yapping.

(Foxnews plays clip of Ignignokt being detonated by Boston police.)

Oglethorpe: Ve should have a party und invite hot women who vill dance with us provocatively.  Press ze button und cover us in the confetti of our victory!

Emory: Alright.

Oglethorpe: Those buttons are red!  You'll destory us all! (Emory presses a red button.  Balloons and confetti fall from the ceiling.  House music plays.)

Oglethorpe: (dancing) Now where are the many hot women with whom we will be dancing in the celebration of the Moonidiot exploding?

Emory: (looking out the window) Um—

Oglethorpe: Stop with the pooping on mein party and direct me to the hot ladies!

Emory: (looking out the window) Um—

Oglethorpe: What is with your umming?  (looks out the window)  What is this I am seeing with mein eyes?  (looks back at the television, on which Foxnews is playing the clip of Ignignokt being detonated by Boston police)  Emory!  Vat is this I am seeing with my eyes?

Emory: I think it's a middle finger?

Oglethorpe: Und who is the person who is flipping us birds with his middle finger?

Emory: (looks at the television on which Foxnews is playing the clip of Ignignokt being detonated by Boston police) I'm—I'm not sure.

Oglethorpe: Because it looks like ze person who is exploding on ze TV again.

(Foxnews plays clip of Ignignokt being detonated by Boston police.)

Emory: It sure does.

(Meanwhile, aboard the Mooninites' ship...)

Err: Suck on this, Plucrapticons!

Ignignokt: If you mess with the Moon, the Moon will mess you up.

Err: With violence!

Ignignokt: The Earth too.

Err: The Earth too!  The Earth too!   You heard the man!

Ignignokt: Our Moon violence is light years beyond your primitive Earth violence.

Err: Psychological warfare, bitches!

(Foxnews plays clip of Ignignokt being detonated by Boston police.)
Feb 2, 2007 10:00:24 PM | Weblogs

3 Comments

Jonathan

You are nothing if not au courant.

Posted by: Jonathan | Saturday, 03 February 2007 at 05:43 PM

The Constructivist

and good at all kinds of humor.

Posted by: The Constructivist | Sunday, 04 February 2007 at 06:11 AM

Loki

Hilda, Hilda! Get me a map of everything!

Posted by: Loki | Monday, 05 February 2007 at 04:24 PM

The comments to this entry are closed.

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The Intellectual Shortcomings of Other People's Fields; or, See this Gauntlet? Consider it Dropped (But Politely, in Case I'm Mistaken) I have a quick question regarding the status of Laura Mulvey’s concept of the gaze in film studies. (At this point, the hastily crafted “blog-work” cedes pride of place to something I wrote this afternoon. Now you can account for the ungainly tonal shift you’re about to experience. Were I not genuinely interested in hearing what you think of the following account of Lacanian influence in film studies, I would take this opportunity to wax free-association about the difference between this here parenthetical prose and what you see beyond its elliptical fortifications. Now, where was I?) The first sentence of her most frequently cited article, “Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema,” clearly states its purview: “This paper intends to use psychoanalysis to discover where and how the fascination of film is reinforced by pre-existing patterns of fascination already at work within the individual subject and the social formations that have moulded him.” Twenty years later, David Roberts summarizes her initial exposition of the male gaze in this essays as having two functions: The first is narcissistic: male spectators gaze at the male subject they aspire to resemble. The second is voyeuristic: the same spectators gaze at the female performers they desire to possess and subject. In the thirty years between Mulvey’s article and Roberts’, the psychoanalytic framework has become invisible, so much so that Roberts can claim that “however [her] ideas are challenged or inflected, they say something important.” The means by which they do so—the authority of psychoanalytic accounts of human consciousness and social interaction—exist now only subterraneously. What had been a decidedly Lacanian argument in which film, abetted by the gaze and its imagined mastery, functions like the mirror stage, deceiving the viewer into believing there is no underlying symbolic structure, becomes a truism whose assumptions need not be addressed so long as the results of its application “say something important.” Such a subsumption has consequences both for the theory being subsumed and the work to which it is applied. As Todd McGowan [JSTOR] notes, the emphasis on the gaze in film studies has pushed the third element of the Lacanian triad, the Real, past the vanishing point, a “crucial omission, because the Real provides the key to understanding the radical role that the gaze plays within filmic experience.” Doing justice neither to the art object under examination nor the examining theory, the routinization of “the gaze” in film studies speaks to the intellectual deficit caused by professional isolation. Am I wrong?
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