Thursday, 10 May 2007

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COUNTERSTRIKE! Copyright (c) 1980, 1982, 1983, 2006 Sekocom, Inc. All rights reserved. COUNTERSTRIKE! is a registered trademark of Sekocom, Inc. Revision 23 / Serial number 8940726 West of Apartment Complex You are standing in an open field west of a white apartment complex, with a boarded front door. There is a small mailbox here. > e You will never reach it. > e You are threatened with ANXIETY. > e You enter a ROOM OF PERIL and feel THE FEAR. > don't feel Not an option. > montage Things happen quickly to a peppy tune. > dance You don't know how. > shake moneymaker You grab your wife and shake her. She stares at you with hate in her eyes. > i said shake moneymaker not breadwinner You grab your wife and shake her. She stares at you with more hate in her eyes. > i hate u im on strike So am I. > fine Fine. > > > > are u still there No. > make me happy No. > finish my paper You complete an essay entitled "All The Egregious Faults of My Advisor with No Exaggeration." > stop writing Too late. > e HERE THERE BE DRAGONS! > whatever You get eaten by a > throw quarters At? > grue Do you see a grue? > u were gonna say What? > i hate u You are in the kitchen of the white townhouse. You are still not dancing. You ass is complete immobile. > SHAKE IT You shake your thing and > hold on I eatin Are you teasing me? > homo say what Are you teasing me? > i a trickster not teaser The light in the kitchen clicks on. It flashes annoyingly. > turn it off You turn it off. POETRY ensues. > turn it off You turn off the POEM. They pound on the doors and climb through the windows. > kill them They want to give you money. > accept It comes with conditions. > accept You could go to jail. > accept You accept the money. The kitchen is cold and bloody. > consult oracle Your pockets are empty. The kitchen is bloody cold. > bloody cold or cold and bloody POETRY > kill kill kill You lunge at POETRY but it presses the button. > kill button You advert nuclear disaster. You are in the kitchen with your shaken moneymaker. A SORROWFUL TROLL attacks you. > laugh at it The SORROWFUL TROLL cries. > laugh more The SORROWFUL TROLL has too many hurt feelings and expires. > read favorite unknown book You cast the SPELL OF FEELING GREAT AND WONDERFUL > what You see a dildo on the table. > no dont Yes, do. > drink more I serve at your pleasure. You drink mightily of the mead on the table. > drink jazz What? > angie DICKINSON Still confused. You are in the kitchen, remember? There is a table > i sane robot On the table? > i sane...

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