Sunday, 24 June 2007

BLOGWARS! (An Interactive Humor MUD)

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Revision 23 / Serial number 8940726

North of the Moral High Ground.

You are standing near the Moral High Ground.  To your South are Theists (or Theorists).  To your North are Atheists (or Anti-Theorists).  To your East and West are scorched earth, battered egos and hurt feelings.

> e

The land has been salted with the blood of Deleuze.  There is nothing for you here.

> w then

(See comments for further instructions.)

Jun 24, 2007 10:32:04 PM | Weblogs

64 Comments

Jonathan Dresner

Flood of mail emerges, a mix of spam, bricks, bats, poison, pens, and supports. The carnie mumbles something supportive, and leaves, nibbling on a Spam Sushi

Posted by: Jonathan Dresner | Tuesday, 26 June 2007 at 01:35 AM

The Constructivist

In hallucinatory state from wasabi overdose, you imagine you (as Michelle Wie) win the U.S. Women's Open and place London chapter in ALH.

Posted by: The Constructivist | Wednesday, 27 June 2007 at 12:59 AM

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My Critique Company My name and email address somehow made it onto one of those lists of gullible publishers desperate writers buy from despicable opportunists. Many of the emails I receive are tragically misguided, like the men unsuccessfully shopping his book on how to get published. Others are plain tragic, like the women who write "I have been writing this novel of my autobiographical experiences with ovarian, breast, brain and left-leg cancer, and I have two daughters who will need its proceeds when I die, &c." I only mock because the two times I've Googled the names and/or email addresses of these folk I found them happy and hale in many a online forum. Today I received a pitch from someone who took the trouble to prescreen his manuscript through a "Critique Company." I appreciate the effort, as it saves me the trouble of having to submit his manuscript to my own Critique Company before I publish this sure-fire best-seller. How could I distrust this incisive, erudite critique: This is an amazing manuscript! Many, many readers will benefit from this material! Thank you for writing this manuscript! This will be a huge success! I do wish you luck with this endeavor! However, you will not need luck! You have an awesome manuscript, and a special gift with words! What with seriousness of thought being directly proportional to the ratio of exclamation points per sentence, only a fool would balk at the opportunity to publish an awesome manuscript written by someone with a special gift with words! They learned to appreciate this ratio sometime since 16 May! (Not that is seems to have helped matters much!) I have contacted the sender of this email and asked him for information about his Critique Company! Mine always scowls! (And without exclamation points! How stupendously unserious!)
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Natalie Portman Has the Better CV? Walk up to any academic and ask them whether they think Scott Kaufman or Natalie Portman has the better the CV, and I guarantee they'd answer that I do sight unseen. They'd be wrong. Granted, I've never shot babies in the head with lasers, but you do what you can to see your name in print.* *Not that I wouldn't shoot babies in the head with lasers if it'd get my name in print, mind you.

Scott Eric Kaufman

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