The First Ever Acephalous Caption Contest

Panel found here, but I don't know what it has to do with Juvenile Delinquent Girl Detective—nor do I particularly want to—so why not let's caption it ourselves?

"Pain or damage don't end the world, or despair or fucking beatings.  The world ends when you're dead.  Until then, you got more punishment in store.  Stand it like a man—" "—or a monkey." "Or a monkey—" "—or Super Musculoso!" "Or Super fucking Musculoso—then give some back.  Good to see centuries of fucking inbreeding attuned you cunts to the necessities of the times."

Comments

[SEK]

The wife looked at me like I was insane, but that does look like Al Swearengen, doesn't it?

[Ahistoricality]

"In the year 2723, four pillars of Monument Valley were reshaped into abstract renditions of the great leaders who triumphed over evil half a millenium earlier but whose precise forms were lost to history: Reagan the Bonzo Apeman, Richard the Great also known as the first Cheney Clone King, Gore XP 2.0, and Osama the masked Marauder and terror of the Cage Matches."

[Luther Blissett]

"They stood still in the stark, southwestern heat, staring blank as rockface at the carnage waiting patiently up the road for them. But until then, they could ponder the irony of a hairy-chested man riding through the dead noon beside a smooth-chested ape. And they could ponder the mystery: just *wha*t was under the shirt of their silent friend, El Vato?"

[SEK]

Sadly, I didn't even notice the robot. I'm not sure what Swearengen would say to a robot, but it'd beyond profane, I guarantee.

[CR]

"It was only then, on the night before we shipped out to Iraq, as I reviewed my troops that I would be leading into battle, that I began to have doubts about the declining standards of the National Guard. Yes, we hit the enrollment targets, sure. But with what sort of men? A guy so inordinately proud of his chest bush that he refused to wear his fatigues, an ape from the San Diego zoo, a Star Wars nut who was scared to appear in public without his R2D2 getup, and an illegal Mexican wrestler who went by "el vaquero secreto"? It was, in short, the moment when I should have known that les jeux sont faits. We were well and truly fucked."

[CR]

Scott,

Both my wife and I loved yours. Tell me: did you borrow from actual show dialogue, or is that an independent invention? The syntactical arrangement of the first sentence is perfect.

[iain]

Freddie Mercury was glad to be back, but he thought that Brian, Roger and John seemed different, somehow...

[Ray Davis]

The Evolution of Man

[Adam Roberts]

The Four Horsemen of the Gaypocalypse.

[SEK]

Brilliant, people, brilliant.

And CR, I think it's from the show, but I pulled it from memory, so it's liable to be bastardized.

[JAKE]

"We have been assembled to produce the ultimate bar joke."

It's all I can muster.

[mp]

I was desperate, but this was no ordinary urinal...

[Nullifidian]

Despite the bewildering array of contestants, there was only one clear winner in the Shirtless Joe Stalin Lookalike Contest.