Friday, 30 November 2007

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Most Pretentious Blawg [Sic] of the Year The minds behind the Cultural Parody Center have announced the finalists for their Parody Oscar Nominations. I'm flattered by the nomination, if a little confused as to why they think Acephalous is a blawg. I suppose I do require legal assistance a little more than the average blogger ... but my point is this is another award I want to win, and this time Chris Clarke ain't around to scuttle my dreams: Most Pretentious Blawg of The Year The Poetry Sewer (http://thevalve.org/) For overdosing on neoRomanticism; for maintaining Oxford-branded snobbery whilst having no sense of humor whatsoever. The Unmarxist Unsupernanny (www.antigram.blogspot.com) For his insidious attempts to throw rivals into the syntaxic grid. For inspiring blog debates without having the guts to lose them. The Decapitated (www.acephalous.typepad.com) For selling word salads as high-culture literary theory. I credit them with stealing my joke—all my best critics steal my material—but am stumped by how the actual voting works. They say "send in your votes via the comments box," but like every other post on the Cultural Parody Center, the comments to this post consist entirely of "jonquille do camembe" and "parodycenter" masterfully feigning intelligence. The meta-parody involved is breathtaking. (I'm not even sure whether I'm nominated for parodying pretentious legal blawgers or for being one myself.) Consider the second "vote": I finally watched all of ‘IT’S A MAD MAD MAD MAD WORLD’ for the first time I saw it with my brother in Cinerama in Nashville, Tennessee. And I didn’t understand it all that well at that age, but now I understand that I am very much like DICK SHAWN and Dr. Fossey is like a mild-mannered version of my ETHEL MERMAN mother, for whom I’ll do anything. I am more devoted to ETHEL MERMAN than even I am to SCARLETT O’HARA!!! "Word salad"? These two know of what they speak ... though not necessarily what they write. Somehow or another, Kugelmass is "seriously challenged" by Y. T. in a category which I'm not even nominated for. (Or maybe I'm so special as to transcend mere ballots?) So vote for me! Only not over there, as it would be a shame to ruin a perfectly good echo chamber by introducing other voices.* *Young wolfson once outdid me in all of a sentence, but apparently the folks behind the Cultural Parody Center aren't fans of pithy demolitions, as the comment is nowhere to be found. I contacted wolfson to see if he remembered what he'd written, but alas, while my unfunny paraphrase "sounds plausible as something I might have said [...] I don't specifically remember doing so." He then went on to answer an email I sent him two years back.

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