Your animal has been referred to our feline oncologist. (Your vet probably didn't give you all the details and that's for the best.) We will see you on the 27th.
Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
P.S. We had no idea this automated message would in any way disturb you. We mean, like, who gets cancer anymore? We live in The Future. That shit's been eradicated for like decades of centuries or something.
P.P.S. Anyway, why would an automated message from any oncologist's office be disturbing to a cancer survivor? Are you crazy? (And how's your credit? Fine ain't it?)
...well. I was going to send good thoughts for Rachel, but seeing as cats never need to deal with heart-stopping automated message birthday surprises, I think you could do with them more.
Posted by: September Blue | Monday, 24 December 2007 at 07:39 AM
Happy Birthday once again. Since you will be alone on Christmas, I spoke to Santa and he is going to try very, very hard to reroute your presents to your home. He is also including some cookies!! If not received on the 25th, he will drop it off on the 26th.
P.S. I am really sorry about Rachel and I know it is strange to pray for a cat, but I sent a message to God and I hope he will help you at this time. We are going to miss you here, but I understand how important Rachel is to you. Love to you.
Posted by: alkau | Monday, 24 December 2007 at 08:39 AM
Ayiyi!
The Universe seems to have a very tragicomic (or is it comitragic?) approach to you. The only plus side to this that I can see, is that it will make very good reading as part of your forth-coming memoir, You Make Me Completely Uncomfortable with Your Words: Disadventures of a Graduate Student.
Best Birthday, Christmas, New Year and Recovery wishes to you and your kitty.
Posted by: JPool | Monday, 24 December 2007 at 10:26 AM
I am so very sorry about Rachel. I wish I could be there for you. It is one extremely hard dealing with final illness and pain over death. For others reading this soon you will know how Scott spent his Christmas Eve. This is my hug and kiss and comfort to you Scott. Give yourself time.It does make it easier while not better. Love, Mom.
Posted by: alkau | Tuesday, 25 December 2007 at 10:49 AM
WHAT?!
That is so unbelievably horrible. How can people involved with the care of (and who supposedly care about) animals be that cruel?
I am so sorry, Scott.
Posted by: Ancrene Wiseass | Wednesday, 26 December 2007 at 07:09 AM