Sunday, 23 December 2007

Happy Birthday, I Don't Want You to Fight Tonight (I'm Seriously, Knock it Off*) (How did this become a series?) Last night the neighbors broke up. Their marriage is officially over. The husband has had it up to here with her sloth. Does she know that's a cardinal's sin? The wife can't believe she's stayed with him this long because speaking of cardinal's sins, what about those receipts from his last two business trips? She means what the fuck. She means isn't adultery a cardinal's sin? He only gets manicures on business trips because the Japanese reward attention to detail. He doesn't know what she's talking about. How would she know how much a manicure costs in Seattle? She hasn't left her sty in years. Except it's not her sty. It's their sty and it's not like he can't wash a plate or not throw dirty underwear on the floor. Did he think he was marrying a maid? No he didn't. He was marrying a wife and he can't understand why she can't understand that. She can't understand why he can't understand why she thinks that's sexist. Now she's a feminist. He always knew. He should've known what with her book club and shit. Fuck is he ever retarded. Fuck if he doesn't know why he didn't ditch her to the curb the night he came home and she was reading Oprah. Me? I was trying to watch Once but had to listen to this. Goes without saying the mood was choked. * Before Young Wolfson reprimands me, "I'm seriously" is a phrase bandied about this here household. Don't know why. It just is. I'm seriously.

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