SEK has spent forty minutes standing in line at the pharmacy. Behind him the line stretches back from the pharmacy, past the wine aisle and into the dairy section. (He made the mistake of picking up a prescription the day they truck in seniors from area nursing homes.) In front of him is an ELDERLY ASIAN-AMERICAN WOMAN. The pharmacist calls the woman who can't stop chewing to the counter and the ELDERLY ASIAN-AMERICAN WOMAN and SEK are now first and second in line respectively. Up walks an ELDERLY JEWISH MAN.
Elderly Jewish Man: (looks at the lines and exhales loudly) This line too long. (to elderly Asian-American woman) You tell me how long you in this line?
Elderly Asian-American Woman: Half one hour now.
Elderly Jewish Man: (shrugs shoulders in dramatic show of resignation) Half hour? You stand here half hour? (peers down the line and scrunches his face in annoyance) Who can stand here half an hour?
Elderly Asian-American Woman: (shoots him a sympathetic look) What can do?
The ELDERLY JEWISH MAN blusters in circles. He surveys the line again, then looks back at the counter. He huffs bombastically. He nods at the ELDERLY ASIAN-AMERICAN WOMAN and turns as if to walk away before thinking better of it. He wheels his cart in front of the ELDERLY ASIAN-AMERICAN WOMAN and stands there.
Elderly Asian-American Woman: Line start back there. (points toward dairy section)
Elderly Jewish Man: You not see. I am tired and at front of line. Alright?
Elderly Asian-American Woman: (indignant) Line start there. (points) Understand? Line start there.
Elderly Jewish Man: (emphatically) You not understand. I am tired and I at front of line. Right here. I in line right here. See?
Elderly Asian-American Woman: You back there. No "right here." Back there. Please you back now.
Elderly Jewish Man: I say this to you again and you are to understand me now. I am tired and at I at front of line. You can now see? (turns his thumbs to his chest) I tired. (points down) Now I front of line. You understand yes?
Elderly Asian-American Woman: Who not tired? I tired. I been here half hour. (turns to me) Been here half hour?
SEK: Longer.
Elderly Asian-American Woman: See? We tired. All tired. You are back now please.
Elderly Jewish Man: (stretches in frustration, revealing a chai tangled in the thicket of his chest) No. You are who it is who needs seeing. I am tired. I at front of line. (glaring) See? I am tired. I at front of line. We have it straight now?
The pharmacist calls for the next customer. The ELDERLY JEWISH MAN starts to walk forward only to be stopped by the ELDERLY ASIAN-AMERICAN WOMAN. He tries to push her away. The pharmacist dashes from behind the counter and asks what's going on.
Elderly Jewish Man: I am tired and I at front of line. I tell this to her and she make to hit at me with purse.
SEK: No she didn't.
Elderly Jewish Man: Why you not mind own business? I am tired. I at front of line. This not true now?
Pharmacist: Sir if you could please step to the back of the line ...
Elderly Jewish Man: (under his breath) Gai kucken ahfen yam.
SEK: Why don't you?
Elderly Jewish Man: Eh? Yet you make with her? For shame. All for shame ...
The Albertsons Justice League commends you, SEK.
That's a much better story than the time I made a smarmy remark to the woman with too many items in the express lane.
Posted by: todd. | Thursday, 24 January 2008 at 09:38 PM
Damn, that's several layers of fucked up.
Posted by: The Girl Detective | Thursday, 24 January 2008 at 11:32 PM
Please tell me he was forced to the back of the line...
Restore some of my faith in the fairness of humanity.
Btw, this happens to my elderly mother all the time at her pharmacy. You see, the pharmacy apparently doesn't believe in lines, so everyone just walks right to the front instead of waiting to see who is next.
Posted by: The_Myth | Friday, 25 January 2008 at 12:07 AM
My pharmacy just calls names over quietly, apparently randomly. Works like a charm.
But, man, that jerk made me think of Patricia Williams's argument on the ethnic scars of American whiteness from The Rooster's Egg....
Posted by: The Constructivist | Friday, 25 January 2008 at 01:09 AM
yeesh--over/out--what's the difference? Over and out.
Posted by: The Constructivist | Friday, 25 January 2008 at 01:10 AM
Not all elderly Jews, I hope. (Maybe it's a Yiddishkeit thing. None of the Germans or Austrians or Alemannic-speaking Swiss I run into here in Basel seem to know how to queue, either.)
Posted by: David Moles | Friday, 25 January 2008 at 02:50 AM
Reminds me of Samantha Bee's recent *Daily Show* story about the lobbyists who are no longer allowed to pay people to wait in line for them at Congressional hearings. She budges in line and the reaction makes for great TV.
Posted by: Luther Blissett | Friday, 25 January 2008 at 08:00 AM
to the man who thinks the world owes him - shame.
This could have turned out differently if the elderly man had spoken to the first few people or just one person and explained in a nice manner that he was not feeling well and would you mind letting him in line so he could get his needed meds and then go home. It goes to show you there are still people out there who have no manners and no empathy for others. He could have gotten in line just by being nice and he blew his chance. No matter the age, there are still some people who think they are more important then the person obeying the rules and standing in a line to get what is needed. Perhaps he thought he was better then this older woman because of his race, perhaps it didn't make a difference who the first in line was. Kindness and understanding seem to be lost art in today,s world.
But the question remains - Did he get his turn before this woman and yourself?
Posted by: alkau | Friday, 25 January 2008 at 12:22 PM
Is it just me, or does vanity, selfishness, and boorishness seem triply magnified when seen in the senior crowd? [caveat: if senile, my observation does not signify.] With young folks you can pass it off as ignorance or poor upbringing, but--to me at least---it's harder to come up with excuses for seemingly reasonable older folks. - TL
PS - SEK, did you score with the asian lady? ;)
Posted by: Tim Lacy | Friday, 25 January 2008 at 01:57 PM
"caveat: if senile, my observation does not signify"
It's so hard to tell whether a particular old person who's acting inappropriate is senile, though. I mean, you can easily tell if it's really severe. But there are all sorts of more or less minor events that can add up with age to lead to some kind of intellectual deficit that may or may not be medically classed as senility but that still isn't full functioning either. I wouldn't have let the guy go to the front of the line, but I'd certainly give him the benefit of the doubt about whether he was really acting "in his right mind" or not.
Posted by: Rich Puchalsky | Friday, 25 January 2008 at 02:06 PM
Scott, I'm tired. Please move my comment up to the top of this list of comments.
Posted by: Adam Roberts | Friday, 25 January 2008 at 02:25 PM
First, your faith in humanity can remain intact: the gentleman was escorted to the back of the line.
Second, I don't think this was a case of mental illness. The guy clearly had his wits about him, he just thought he should go first because he was tired. This is a very Elderly Jew kind of entitlement, sadly familiar from my many encounters with elderly Jews. (Esp. men. Don't know why that is.)
Posted by: SEK | Friday, 25 January 2008 at 04:26 PM
I have seen something similar with Russian Jewish immigrants. Fighting to the head of a line was a well-honed skill of theirs.
Posted by: John Emerson | Friday, 25 January 2008 at 05:25 PM
Anti-Semite.
Posted by: Wally | Friday, 25 January 2008 at 10:36 PM
You're a total race traitor. And you'll regret your traitorous ways in a few short years. When you are that elderly gentleman. And tired.
Posted by: Ari Kelman | Saturday, 26 January 2008 at 03:07 AM
I was talking with a friend, a while ago, about the category 'self-hating Jew' (not one I'd put Scott in, incidentally). My friend wondered why nobody talked in similar terms about, eg, a 'self-hating Englishman'. Then we agreed that there was a term for such a person. The term is 'Englishman'.
Posted by: Adam Roberts | Saturday, 26 January 2008 at 04:54 AM
"Scott, I'm tired." Adam Roberts Wins.
Posted by: Josh | Saturday, 26 January 2008 at 09:11 AM
i think everyone forgets the unsung hero of this story - the pharmacist! he probably had to deal with elderly folks of all kinds that day - in fact, he probably dreads that day of elderly people being bused in and drinks heavily to forget that it's coming...
Posted by: Mikhail Emelianov | Saturday, 26 January 2008 at 09:32 AM
Meds by mail. Only way to go.
Posted by: scrumptious | Saturday, 26 January 2008 at 11:53 PM
I have to agree--Adam Roberts totally wins. And my faith in humanity has also been restored. Thank you. I can't believe I read through ALL THE COMMENTS to find out what happened. I need to find something constructive to do with my time.
Posted by: aquafortis | Wednesday, 30 January 2008 at 07:05 PM