Characters Discussed in My London Chapter Whose Names, in Aggregrate, Infantilize Me

1. One-Eye, a wolf
2. White Fang, a wolf-dog
3. Buck, a dog-wolf
4. Earnest Everhard, a porn star dead socialist revolutionary
5. Big-Tooth, a hominid
6. Lop-Ear, his companion
7. Red-Eye, an atavism
8. Ab, a man of the Age of Stone
9. Uk, a paleolithic literalist
10. Oan, an early Shakespearean hack
11. Wax-moth, an agent of creeping socialism
12. Long-Beard, the sole survivor of a capitalism
13. Afraid-of-the-Dark, one of his three nephews
14. Deer-Runner, another
15. Yellow-Head, the last of them
16. Fith-Fith, failed chief of Long-Beard's ruined tribe
17. Three-Legs, inventor of agriculture
18. Pig-Jaw, father of domestication
19. Big-Fat, née Twisted-Lip, discoverer of God
20. Crooked-Eyes, corn liquor magnate
21. The Bug, first minister of propaganda
22. Tiger-Face, chief of the jointed staff
23. Long-Fang, obviously doomed socialist revolutionary
24. Split-Nose, professional scapegoat

No real punch-line here, other than I'm amazed I'm able to take myself seriously writing about these folk.  (Or, possibly, an explanation as to why I really can't.)  Sadly, this is my strongest chapter, the one that should be my writing sample and/or job talk, but I'm thinking I should go with something else, like the one in which I prattle on about a fish. 

Crap.  I'm never going to land a job, am I?

Comments

[Mike Russo]

I read "Pig-Jaw" as "Pig-Jew" when skimming this list.

So, could be worse.

Also, he wrote a book called "The Strength of the Strong"? Seriously?

[Sisyphus]

Aha! Yet another thing they don't tell us to think about when picking our topics.

Luckily, I'm sure you'll be able to purvey your blog into a thriving internet empire and support yourself through Amazon payments.

You'd better find somewhere that the rent can be paid through them.

[JPool]

Good old Three Legs, he was fast and popular with the ladies! Such a good provider.

[Adam Roberts]

I had no idea Jack London was so ... prog.

[JPool]

I think you ought to make up a few additional ones, maybe slip them into the footnotes, just to fuck with the Londonites.

By way of suggestion:
25. Swollen-Liver, a writer
26. Talky-Face, his literary agent
27. Lump-Ear, a pirate