Don't Mock, Don't Mock, Don't Mock, Don't Mock ...

Normally such pleas are made via email, but this brave soul decided on another route.  (I've removed identifying information because I'm not that cruel.) 

Since I'm already writing about nothing, I thought I'd add that since becoming Supreme Leader of that other place I've received a remarkable number of emails that read something like this:

Dear Madam,

I see you have a very popular blog according to the Technorati which measures what are the popular blogs.  I have a message the world needs to hear and most desperately the sooner the better and believe your platform would provide me the platform I need to bullhorn my message to your world.  If you would like to please help enlighten the world into saving grant me access to the administrative privileges of your blog so I can begin my messaging of the world to the importance of Live Nude Barely Asian Women.

Sincerely,

This Is Not a Fake Name

And yes, I have been addressed as "Madam."  Despite all the flack I've taken for identifying myself by my full name, I wonder if I shouldn't throw a couple more masculine cues in there.  "Scott Eric Beer Football John Wayne Loves Guns Kaufman" has a nice ring to it, no?

Comments

[Mikhail Emelianov]

How about a reference to eructation? That's always a very masculine thing...

[Daniel]

Just drop the sexually ambiguous parts of your name and go by "Beer Football Guns". It has the advantage of abbreviating as BFG, which is itself very masculine.

[Adam Roberts]

Scott Eric Wackomagnet Kaufman.

[ceresina]

well, y'know, women are so into that nude woman thing. Much more than men. So Not-A-Fake-Name expects better results from a woman.