Wednesday, 16 July 2008

Marvel at my awesomeness, my friends When I was left off the "The Top 100 Liberal Arts Professor Blogs," I didn't mind. I'm not a professor, so crying because someone didn't include Acephalous on a list of "Professor Blogs" would be beside the point. So when I stopped crying, I wondered whether the category "Professor Blogs" included all professors, or just full professors. Could an assistant or associate be included? What about lecturers and adjuncts? As it turns out, my wrangling was for naught. The list was designed to attract traffic to a disreputable site shilling for online universities. But the commentary it generated has merit inasmuch as it included people praising me. Not-half-bad-herself Sharon wrote: A list that excludes Acephalous is basically worthless. To which far-better-novelist Adam replied: Hear hear! All hail the Glorious Leader! Sharon later lit into the list more exhaustively, prompting Ralph Luker to compose a list of the 82 best history blogs. As you might expect, given the breathtaking gloriousness that is this blog, Acephalous came in first place. You are reading the best history blog on the internet, but if reading losers is your bag, feel free to slum at some of the blogs not written by your Glorious Leader: Acephalous AHA Today Airminded Altercation Ancient World Bloggers Group Archaeoastronomy Axis of Evel Knieval BibliOdyssey Blog Them Out of the Stone Age Blogenspiel bookn3rd The Bowery Boys Britannica Blog Built History Cabinet of Wonders Cardinal Wolsey's Today in History Chapati Mystery The China Beat Civil War Memory Civil Warriors A Corner of 10th Century Europe Curious Expeditions Dan Cohen Digital History Hacks A Don's Life Durham-in-Wonderland Early Modern Notes Early Modern Whale Easily Distracted The Edge of the American West edwired Eunomia Europe Endless Frog in a Well Ghost in the Machine Got Medieval Historiann A Historian's Craft Historiblogography History is Elementary History Unfolding Hugo Schwyzer In the Middle Informed Comment Investigations of a Dog Jottings from the Granite Studio Lawyers, Guns, and Money Legal History Blog The Little Professor Mercurius Politicus more than 95 theses New Kid on the Hallway The Nonist Obscene Desserts Old Is The New New OUP Blog PhDinHistory PhDiva Pink Tentacle Politics & Letters Positive Liberty Progressive Historians The Proletarian Public Historian Religion in American History Rogue Classicism Rustbelt Intellectual Siris Steamboats are ruining everything Strange Maps Talking Points Memo Tenured Radical Trench Fever Tropian U. S. Intellectual History Varieties of Unreligious Experience Walking the Berkshires Westminster Wisdom Whitman's Brooklyn wood s lot Zoom zunguzungu
Dear University Apartment Complex People, I'm not upset you decided the air conditioning unit I purchased after consulting with you and filling out your paperwork; had professionally installed, at great expense, in a wooden frame as per your directions; and which has sat, in its expensive, professional frame, in my bedroom window since 2004 only recently came to your attention. Nor am I upset you lost the paperwork I filled out and blamed me for lacking the foresight to copy it. I'm not even bothered by the fact you're unconvinced by my claim that, had I my druthers, I would not have had the unit professionally installed, at great expense, in direct accordance with your guidelines if I didn't have to. Because, as you well know—what with you running grad student housing and all—grad students bleed money, and love nothing more than to install air conditioners as baroquely and expensively as is humanly possible. I take that back—I am somewhat upset you lost the paperwork I filled out and are demanding I remove said air conditioning unit from my window. It does bother me that you're unable to see that I wouldn't have bent over backwards to meet your stringent requirements if I didn't have to. And I'm a little upset about how blithe you are when I tell you my wife is profoundly asthmatic, and needs to binge on oxygen every so often in order to remain alive. I'm also annoyed you said you'd look around for the forms you had in your possession—they were part of the portfolio your people used when they officially inspected my apartment in 2006—then spent the day dodging my phone calls, despite the fact you'd threatened me with grievous actions if I didn't remove the unit before I flew to Houston in a day. That said, I applaud your commitment to helping graduate students find affordable housing in Orange County, I only pray I have somewhere to live when I return from the South.

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