Friday, 18 July 2008

Dear University Apartment Complex People, I'm not upset you decided the air conditioning unit I purchased after consulting with you and filling out your paperwork; had professionally installed, at great expense, in a wooden frame as per your directions; and which has sat, in its expensive, professional frame, in my bedroom window since 2004 only recently came to your attention. Nor am I upset you lost the paperwork I filled out and blamed me for lacking the foresight to copy it. I'm not even bothered by the fact you're unconvinced by my claim that, had I my druthers, I would not have had the unit professionally installed, at great expense, in direct accordance with your guidelines if I didn't have to. Because, as you well know—what with you running grad student housing and all—grad students bleed money, and love nothing more than to install air conditioners as baroquely and expensively as is humanly possible. I take that back—I am somewhat upset you lost the paperwork I filled out and are demanding I remove said air conditioning unit from my window. It does bother me that you're unable to see that I wouldn't have bent over backwards to meet your stringent requirements if I didn't have to. And I'm a little upset about how blithe you are when I tell you my wife is profoundly asthmatic, and needs to binge on oxygen every so often in order to remain alive. I'm also annoyed you said you'd look around for the forms you had in your possession—they were part of the portfolio your people used when they officially inspected my apartment in 2006—then spent the day dodging my phone calls, despite the fact you'd threatened me with grievous actions if I didn't remove the unit before I flew to Houston in a day. That said, I applaud your commitment to helping graduate students find affordable housing in Orange County, I only pray I have somewhere to live when I return from the South.

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