Monday, 17 November 2008

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The Great California Earthquake Drill of 2008 THE ORACLE At 10 a.m. Pacific time, emergency sirens will blare across Southern California and millions of residents will dive for cover, as part of an earthquake simulation that will involve close to a dozen colleges and universities. The University of California, will be staging events at its Irvine, Los Angeles, Riverside, and San Diego campuses. SEK I understand, Great Wise One. I will prepare my students for the blaring sirens. They will learn to duck and protect their important bits. SEK enters the classroom at 9:30 a.m. SEK You are in grave danger! At precisely 10:00 a.m. this campus will be struck by an earthquake of unprecedented proportions! Sirens will blare and you will panic and die! STUDENT #1 But we are too young to— STUDENT #2 Too pretty to— SEK Fear not! I will save you with techniques! When sirens they do blare you are to duck! When you have ducked you are to cover! When you are covered you are to pray! STUDENTS We are to pray. SEK It is only 9:30. On with the class! Blah blah blah blah— STUDENT #3 Point! SEK Excellent point! Blah blah blah blah blah— STUDENT #4 Point! SEK Another excellent point! Let me illustrate it on the podium computer! First I will turn off the lights with the computer because there are no light switches in the room. We are in good darkness now. Look at this point blah blah blah blah blah blah— STUDENT #5 Scott! It is time for the earthquake! SEK It is! Let me see what to do! SEK peers down at the podium computer. There is a message on it. PODIUM COMPUTER BEEP! Thank you for participating in the Great California Earthquake Drill of 2008. We hope you and your students learned about shaking from it. Have an excellent day! SEK We missed the earthquake! Let us now resume the learning! I will turn on the lights with the podium computer! PODIUM COMPUTER BEEP! Thank you for participating in the Great California Earthquake Drill of 2008. We hope you and your students learned about shaking from it. Have an excellent day! SEK I will now turn on the lights! PODIUM COMPUTER BEEP! Thank you for participating in the Great California Earthquake Drill of 2008. We hope you and your students learned about shaking from it. Have an excellent day! SEK We will learn in the dark for now. Blah blah blah blah blah— STUDENT #2 Point! SEK That is a point worth thinking about. We should revisit that scene. I will play it again for you so you can analyze it. I am pressing the play button on the podium computer now. PODIUM COMPUTER BEEP! Thank you for participating in the Great California Earthquake Drill of 2008. We hope you and your students learned about shaking from it. Have an excellent day! SEK We will continue to learn in the dark for now. Blah blah blah blah blah— STUDENT #3 Point! SEK Another excellent point!...

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