Friday, 20 March 2009

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GRADING! [Other installments of Sekocom, Inc. games include DISADVENTURE!, DISADDENDUM!, DISMORALIZED!, DISINSOMNIA!, WHARTON!, GRADING!, DISBELIEF! and DISCONVENTION!.] Copyright (c) 1980, 1982, 1983, 2009 Sekocom, Inc. All rights reserved. GRADING! is a registered trademark of Sekocom, Inc. Revision 28 / Serial number 8940728 West of Apartment Complex You are standing in an open field west of a white apartment complex, with a boarded front door. There is a small mailbox here. > go inside It is such a beautiful day out. Why not explore awhile? > go inside and grade You throw caution to the wind and amble aimlessly around fields bathing in inspirational pastels swaths that compel poets to compose poetry and— > kill kinkade Your inability to access the adumbral profundity of— > kill alliteration You are exploring a verdant meadow whose vertiginous pleasures verily— > stop crap poem go inside and grade You reluctantly return to the white apartment complex and— > damn right hippie And decide you would rather not grade so you— > hippie must grade now GO INSIDE So you begin to skip to the blessed beat of some auscultated thrum— > hippies made for dying Idle threats will do you no— > hippies good at dying I said— > inside and grade or else You enter the white apartment complex and begin to grade your students' final papers. The good ones are predictably good. The poor ones are predictably poor. The hours drag like sleds pulled by drunk slugs. You think you fall asleep when in fact that is what your student thinks language is. You grab a pen and— > JAB IN EYES JAB IN EYES You must grade or el— > JAB HARDER MAKE SELF DIE If these grades are not turned in by— > NO CARE WANT DEATH You try to ignore your responsibility to your students but— > NO BUTS BRING DEATH BRING DEATH BRING DEATH The grue devours you before you have a chance to scream. (Thanks to Joran Elias for reminding me how much I enjoy venting via text adventure.)

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