Thursday, 26 March 2009

I'm moving to the country. SEK sits at his desk working. THE NEIGHBOR exits her apartment to smoke a cigarette on her porch. SEK: (working quietly) THE NEIGHBOR: OH HAI HAD MANICURE TODAY WUZ AWESOME HAHAHA U NO WHEN U HAZ MANICURE AND LADY IZ LIKE ALL YOU HAVE NICE HANDS OR WHA-TEVAH? SEK: (quietly bangs head on desk) THE NEIGHBOR: WELL LADY IZ ALL LIKE THIS NOT HURT BUT OMG IT HURT LIKE U NOT NO FROM PAIN HAHAHA SO I WUZ LIKE HOW HARD IT IZ 2 B SEXY AND SHE WUZ LIKE AND U NEVER BELIEVE! SEK: (continues to bang head on desk) THE NEIGHBOR: AND I WUZ LIKE WHA-TEVAH HAHAHA U KNOW LIKE WHA—TEH—VAH. BUT I BE TOTALLY SEXY NOW HAHAHA SO LIKE IZ OK. O U HAZ TO GO WELL OK THEN BY! SEK: (to HIS WIFE) Do we still live in graduate housing? HIS WIFE: (groggily what with the hours of head-desking herself) I believe so. SEK: What department do you think she's in? THE NEIGHBOR: SO MY OTHER BFF HAHAHA HAD TO GO SO WE CAN TALK NOW GOOD SO U KNOW WHEN YOU GET A MANICURE 2 BE SEXY AND— SEK walks onto the porch and looks at THE NEIGHBOR. SEK: I hate to interrupt, but the sound just bounces off the stucco here, so do you think you could try to keep it down a little when you're talking on the porch? THE NEIGHBOR glowers at him. THE NEIGHBOR: Sure. SEK: Thank you. I appreciate that. SEK walks back inside. THE NEIGHBOR: U WILL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED! O U HEARD THAT! I NO! I WUZ LIKE WHA—TEH—VAH HAHAHA BUT CAN U BELIEVE THAT THE NERVE LIKE HE IS SO IMPORTANT OR SOMETHING SO I WUZ WHERE? O I KNOW I WUZ LIKE GETTING MANICURE FOR 2 B SEXY HAHAHA WHEN LADY SAID O U HAZ DATE TONIGHT? OK I CALL OTHER BFF BY NOW! SEK and HIS WIFE is like no able to think u no what with u no HAHAHA and u shoot SEK and HIS WIFE now please b4 infection spread ok HAHAHA— (Possible solution?)

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