Sunday, 12 July 2009

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Those are likely to be some really awkward introductions. In May, the Mets' color team of Keith Hernandez and Ron Darling had some fun at the expense of the Braves' struggling right fielder Jeff Francoeur. Keith began by saying things like: a patient hitter is quiet at the plate a patient hitter waits for the ball to come to him a patient hitter only swings at balls he can hit a patient hitter is loose in the box a patient hitter enters a zen-like state when the pitcher starts his motion Jeff Francoeur is not a patient hitter Only he didn't say "Jeff Francoeur is not a patient hitter." He said, "Jeff Francoeur looks demonic." The other color announcer, Ron Darling, pretended to call Hernandez out, so Keith buzzed the boys in the van for a still shot of Francoeur swinging. They sent up this: "I told you," Keith said. "I thought they banned greenies," Ron replied. "Just look at him," Keith continued. "Bulging his eyes, flaring his nostrils, everything wrong with his approach at the plate is right there in his face." "Patient hitters aren't about to bite through their bottom lip," Ron added. They continued in this vein for a minute or so, then asked for a shot of what Daniel Murphy—whose approach at the plate Hernandez absolutely adores—and they returned with something similar to this: "See how Murph looks the ball into the catcher's glove?" Keith said. "See how he's not about to jump out of his shoes to swing at a pitch he can't hit." "It doesn't look like the ball just insulted Daniel's mother," Ron said. "Insulted?" Keith replied. "Bring that picture of Francoeur back up." "That ball didn't 'insult' his mother," Keith said. "That ball did unspeakable things to—things we can't talk about on television to his mother. He hates that ball." "Like Steve Martin in The Jerk," Ron added. "Except the guy really does hate those cans. Stay away from the cans!" To which Keith replied: "Stay away from Francoeur!" Care to guess who the Mets traded for this Friday?

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