Tuesday, 26 June 2012

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LURKER AMNESTY WEEK 2012 IS UPON US! Just because I like to have a sense of who exactly I'm writing for—especially in this age of reading material in one place and commenting on it elsewhere—I'm declaring what began this morning at 12:01 a.m. to be LURKER AMNESTY WEEK 2012! If you're reading this and comment all the time, skip the rest of this post. (Which isn't most of you anymore. Where have y'all gone, my regulars of yore?) If you're reading this and have never commented, feel free to leave a comment. (And an explanation of why you've never commented, if you'd like. Lately I get the sense it's because no one else is commenting, so it'd seem strange to break the silence by commenting.) If you're reading this and have never commented and would rather not comment, feel free to send me an email at allmynamessquishedtogether at gmail dot com. Or via Facebook, where I can be found by unsquishing allmynamessquishedtogether. If you're reading this and have never commented and would rather not comment and don't do email, then I'm not even sure how you're reading this, but feel free to contact me via whatever medium is valued by your people. (I hear ravens are in this year.) You need not use your real name or even your regular pseudonym, but please do give a sense of who you are, how you got here and why you've stayed, so that I might make this place more hospitable to good folk like you. You never know, I might be inclined to TAKE REQUESTS if I knew who wanted me write about what around here.
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DISBELIEF! [Other installments of Sekocom, Inc. games include DISADVENTURE!, DISADDENDUM!, DISMORALIZED!, DISINSOMNIA!, WHARTON!, GRADING!, DISBELIEF! and DISCONVENTION!.] Copyright (c) 1980, 1982, 2006, 2012 Sekocom, Inc. All rights reserved. DISBELIEF! is a registered trademark of Sekocom, Inc. Revision 23 / Serial number 8940729 West of Apartment Complex You are standing in an open field west of a white apartment complex, with a boarded front door. There is a small mailbox here. > e The door is locked. There is evidently no key. > kick down door You are in the kitchen of the white townhouse. A table seems to have been used recently for the preparation of food. A television tuned to CNN sits upon it. A passage leads to the west, and a dark staircase can be seen leading downward. The President is Black. To the east is a small window which is open. > wait what? You are in the kitchen of the white townhouse. A table seems— > no president part The President is Black. > GET THE FUCK OUT You are standing in an open field west of a white apartment complex, with a kicked-in front door. There is a small mailbox here. > check mail There are two envelopes in the mailbox. The first is from a woman whose name you do not recognize. The second is from the DMV. > open dmv The registration on a vehicle is about to expire. Its owner has three weeks to provide evidence of liability insurance. > look year I don't understand. > year on registration The registration of the vehicle will not be renewed for 2013 unless its owner— > it is 2012 The registration of the vehicle will not be renewed for 2013 unless its owner— > so year is 2012 You are a genius. > how black president He was elected in 2008. > WHAT THE FUCK You are standing in an open field west of a white apartment complex, with a kicked-in front door. There is a small mailbox here. There are two envelopes in the mailbox. The first is from a woman whose name you do not recognize. The second is from the DMV. > AND PRESIDENT The President is still Black. > open woman That would be wrong. > open LETTER FROM woman You open the letter from a woman whose name you do not recognize. > where she from The address of origin is Houston, Texas. > so america You are a genius. > so america 2012 black president You are hyperventilating. The letter from the DMV can be used as a bag. Breathe deeply into the letter and exhale slowly— > WHERE AM I You are standing in an open field west of a white apartment complex, with a kicked-in front door. There is a small mailbox here. > HOW I GET HERE You started paying attention. Your breathing seems to be increasingly shallow. You should consider seeking medical attention. > no insurance As of today your status as an American citizen...

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