Saturday, 11 May 2013

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Christians are terrible people SEK pulls his dirty, beaten, decade old Ford Taurus into a toll booth behind PORSCHE GUY from the Republic of FL. SEK’s listening, quite loudly, to the Replacements’ Tim, when he notices PORSCHE GUY seems to be having problems paying his $2.50 toll. PORSCHE GUY: I only have fifty cents. TOLL BOOTH ATTENDANT: It’s a $57.70 fine. PORSCHE GUY: I’m not going to pay that. PORSCHE GUY exits his car and slowly looks around. He turns to SEK, who turns “Bastards of Young” up even louder. PORSCHE GUY: HEY YOU! SEK: IT BEATS PICKING COTTON AND WAITING TO BE FORGOTTEN! PORSCHE GUY: I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME! SEK: (turns down music) What? PORSCHE GUY: Can I borrow $2? SEK: (looks at PORSCHE GUY’s Porsche while the fuel injector on his one-eyed Taurus sputters) Sorry. Don’t have it. PORSCHE GUY: How were you doing the tolls then? SEK: (realizing PORSCHE GUY knows some logic) I have $5 and change. Just enough to get me to work. PORSCHE GUY: Can I borrow it? SEK: I have just enough to get to work. PORSCHE GUY: Great. You can pay it forward. SEK: I don’t think that’s how that works. PORSCHE GUY: Are you a religious man? SEK: Not remotely. PORSCHE GUY: Because I am. I believe in Christian charity. SEK: (looking at PORSCHE GUY’s Porsche) I can tell. PORSCHE GUY: Great! PORSCHE GUY gets back in his car and talks to the TOLL BOOTH ATTENDANT. Both point at SEK, who vigorously waves his arms in an improvised semaphore of “NO NO NO.” PORSCHE GUY sticks his head out his window and turns to SEK. PORSCHE GUY: Jesus pays you forward! God bless! PORSCHE GUY speeds off. SEK pulls up to the toll booth and is informed by TOLL BOOTH ATTENDANT that he’d agreed to cover PORSCHE GUY’s toll. She also informs him that if he doesn’t pay the PORSCHE GUY forward, she’ll be docked for the difference. SEK hands over $5.00 and heads to class.

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