Thursday, 08 August 2013

I never realized England was a Jewish grandmother

Because it’s about time for another Doctor Who post, here’s England reminding Matt Smith that he’s going to be miserable when she’s gone and we all die alone. The caption to the above photograph, for example, reads “[a]fter his lunch Matt wandered around, ending up sitting on someone’s front step,” which is essentially a Yiddish insult. (My grandmother never actually said “you should wander around and end up sitting on some stranger’s stoop,” but I can easily imagine her doing so.) The Jewish futility doesn’t end there:

Matt seemed to blend into the crowd as he spent a relaxed day on his own, as passers by seemed oblivious to who he was. ["You relax like a nobody" or "You and nine men don't make a minyan."]

Matt didn’t seem bothered by the fact that he was spending the day by himself, wanting to work on his own. ["As you work so will you die."]

Reading over the script, Matt seemed to be considering the new part, as he tried to make a name for himself in Hollywood. ["Try to make a name for yourself different from mine."]

The 30-year-old chomped away on his sandwich outside the eatery, obviously not worried about being spotted. ["When you slobber away, only God's watching."]

The star seemed happy as he spent alone, moving on with his career in the US. ["May you grow up and live in Los Angeles."]

Which means that, yes, I may be the first person ever to pass time in Mississippi writing ersatz Yiddish insults.

Aug 8, 2013 10:58:58 AM | Doctor Who

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