Sunday, 18 August 2013

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so very, very heavy SEK is drives to HIS IN-LAW’S to check something on the Internet before heading to Baton Rouge to reclaim all his worldly possessions from THE AWESOME HISPANIC MOVERS. THE ROAD: I AM FULL OF DEER! SEK: !?! THE ROAD: FULL OF DEER! SEK: !?! THE ROAD: DEER DEER DEER! SEK: SHIT SHIT SHIT! [slams on brakes] You could’ve said something. THE ROAD: !?! Having survived THE ROAD, SEK arrives in Baton Rouge. However, somewhere between California and Louisiana, the AWESOME HISPANIC MOVERS became GIANT ANGRY TATTOOED BELARUSIANS. SEK: You can just put all my worldly possessions in this perfectly normally storage unit on my friend’s property. GIANT ANGRY TATTOOED BELARUSIANS: We cannot do that. SEK: Why not? GIANT ANGRY TATTOOED BELARUSIANS: We do not do that. SEK: !?! GIANT ANGRY TATTOOED BELARUSIANS: Here is what you do, I tell you. You rent U-Haul, we meet in parking lot. You move your stuff to U-Haul, drive to home and costs you only one hundred. SEK: To rent a U-Haul for a day? GIANT ANGRY TATTOOED BELARUSIANS: For us to unload alone. Fifty if you help. SEK: Am I not already paying you a – GIANT ANGRY TATTOOED BELARUSIANS: You pay company, we are here. You want us unload, you pay us. SEK: Just so I have this right: I pay for a U-Haul, we meet in a parking lot, I hand you cash, and then I have to unload everything myself later? GIANT ANGRY TATTOOED BELARUSIANS: Fifty you help, hundred you don’t. SEK: I’ll help. GIANT ANGRY TATTOOED BELARUSIANS: Please to be sure. For two hundred we walk on grass even. SEK: I WILL HELP. SEK then is to be unloading a U-Haul by his lonesome, waiting for VERY STRONG GODCHILD and HIS VERY STRONG GODCHILD’S BROTHER to make finish with swim practice and become UNPAID CHILD LABORERS.

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